Hi. Long time no see? Yeah, I completely forgot this existed. Kind of. I realize now that the reason I stopped updating this thing was mostly because my computer broke. But that was a long long time ago and now it's all better! I'm tempted to go back and read some of my old posts. It's kind of neat that I have this record of what I was thinking on certain days from a year and a half ago. I have come to realize, though, that I remained true to myself which makes me feel good. I'm actually really proud of myself for having done something that I wanted to do and being moderately successful at it. And now I want to return to that!
So the year is winding down, and I am a senior. Not the kind that gets 3 dollars off at the local buffet, but the kind that is just beginning to explore that big big world out there. I only have like two or three weeks left and I feel like things should be slowing down but they are not at all. I have so many random little things to take care of and it is really stressing me out. I don't even know if I'm all on track to graduate because my counselor is a cunt and won't talk to me because she hates me. I have a lot of money to try and get for prom, and I have a lot of stress from that too. Prom is freaking me out way more than I ever thought it would. Mostly because it's coming out to be quite an expensive night and everyone is playing it up so much and I just feel like I'm going to be really out of place and not be able to play the part of enthralled teenager. It's also really nerve wracking because prom is a night that a lot of people remember for their entire lives, at least in some capacity. That means if I don't have a good time or something I'm just going to remember that forever. Oh well, we'll just have to get there and make the best of it.
I am so ready for college though. I know that most people are expecting me to fail or drop out or something, and that may very well happen, but I actually get a lot more done when I'm on my own and I don't have anyone nagging me to do shit all the time. I think it'll be a more productive environment anyway. I'm also ready to feel ahead of the curve again. Central is just making me feel like a failure in every way possible recently.
I'm honestly considering applying to McDonalds or something because I'll never get a job otherwise. If someone knows a job I can apply for that'd be sweet. I still don't want a job, but I really need the money so I guess I have no choice.
I've started to like watching movies a lot more. I wouldn't consider myself any more of a critic or anything than before, I just really like watching movies and I actively watch them a lot more than I used to. I don't really have anything to say other than that.
Um... I don't really have much more to say and I don't really want to force any other content, so I'm just going to end this here.
From under the rocks,
Marcus ♥
