Day 64 - Seek

I think one of my biggest problems is that I have two conflicting opinions. On one hand I really wish I could be happy. I really wish that I could just live ignorantly or whatever and just be happy with what was around me. On the other hand, I don't think I should stifle my own thoughts. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm the kinda person who just speaks my mind and doesn't hold anything back. While this may have cost me quite a few social encounters and gotten me into some trouble I don't regret my decision. See, the thing is, its kind of hard to be happy if you think everything is shitty. And while I have the potential to try and fix my own state of mind I still would just look around me and somewhere I would be thinking the same things I always have. I don't think I could live like that.

I feel like if you are put into a situation where you are forced to change something about yourself to feel content with your life, then something is wrong with the world around you.

I really just feel like everything is going to shit and people are just trying to ignore it. If you look around at the people walking near you its like they are just trying to shut everything out. We have so many things now to block sensory input from the environment around you. I wouldn't be surprised if in the future it was just customary to wear a big enclosed helmet around.

I feel like if you look around and everyone is just looking down at their phones then something is wrong with either the world around them, or the people themselves. I think its probably a lot of both.

Anyway, rant number 2 is about how easily people seem to discard their values nowadays. I really just hate how easy it is for people to change their minds with little to no justification. People always hold so strongly to their values at any given point, and will defend them as long as they can, yet at any time they can just decide they no longer think that and they just wanna do the complete opposite. We live in a generation where people just like to pick and choose from a list of things and I think people tend to do this with their values quite often. If one value becomes inconvenient or to their disliking then they simply drop it and pick up a new one. I'm not really describing this very well, but I'm sure you get the gist of it.


I'm so glad that I was gifted with the knowledge that everything sucks, the ability to get angry about it, and the complete lack of motivation to do anything about it except moan and bitch and complain. It's really great.


I dunno. I've been thinking about a lot of things and a lot of people think I am wrong and I don't even feel good about anything anymore. I had a couple lighthearted things to say, but I don't really remember what they are. I guess I'll save those things some other time.


Nobody will read this.


Marcus