spores - day 57

Recently I've felt as if life has he potential to be really simple and yet it never is. I also don't understand my utter lack of motivation. I feel like a lot of problems in my life get solved by getting a job. But I don't want a job. I think maybe it's because I'm subconsciously afraid. I feel like getting a job is being forced to grow up. I dunno, everything just seems so trivial nowadays. Like, my goal in life is almost just to get through it. I have this super strong desire to have a girlfriend. I have no idea why. I guess my hormones are telling me to fuck otherwise the human race will end or something like that. But I just have this desire to have a girl who is able to just support me. I guess I'm just looking for this support that I've never had. Everybody is just so superficial and only concerned with themselves nowadays. Anyway, I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, I was just compelled to write today. Writing is just something I have to do every once in a while, thus the blog. I'm going to see if I can't take my computer in to a shop tomorrow and get a free diagnosis with the slight hope that they find a simple fix and do it for free or something. I really wish people still read this.

Hungrily,
Marcus <3

animals - day 55

People are so superficial. People get so wrapped up in day to day things it's hilarious. Nobody ever just stops and thinks about what the end goal might be, what it could be. EVER. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and people just don't fucking think about that shit. People just go on fingering each other's ass holes day in and day out and nobody even stops to wonder why. Soooo fucking superficial. Everyone is just so fucking dumb. I know people make fun of me for thinking everyone around me is dumb except me, but honestly, most of those people have yet to prove to me their worth. Of course people will try to justify the way they live, of course people are going to try and say, "No Marcus, you're the odd one out, it's you who's wrong." But I'm just not going to believe it. Nope. I'm just so mad at everyone right now. I'm so angry at my situation. And I don't even have anyone to tell, so I just write in this fucking blog that all of about two people still even read. Like, nobody gives a fuck about my problems. Nobody cares about what I have to say because everyone 's too busy fingering ass holes. Who would stop and think about anything or listen to marcus when we could all just finger some good ol' fashioned ass hole. And I really don't think this is ever going to change. Life is just a big ass fucking, whether it be stroked by other folks, or torn open by life situations, you better bend over and spread them cheeks because you're in for a ride, apparently.

I don't want to leave my bed ever again.

Sincerely,
Marcus <3

Holes - Day 54

I hate the people my dad marries. Like, seriously? Fuck them. They're ruining my fucking life. People are ruining my life. Without people, I could just do what I want. I seriously just want to bury myself in a hole and just live there. Nobody wants me around. Nobody likes me. I've been thinking about suicide a lot since school started again. I fucking hate school. It turns people into such shit heads. Everyone gets so wrapped up in all this superficial shit that they wouldn't otherwise. Because people are things to impress. It's all so hypocritical. Like, school is just a building where people can go to finger each others ass holes, except you have to go to school. And if you don't want to finger somebody's ass, well then you're a failure because when it comes right down to it we're all just a society of ass fingerers. So anyway, suicide. I don't think I want to commit suicide right now, but I'm pretty sure that's how I eventually want to go. How life goes will depend on whether or not it happens sooner or later I s'pose. Fuck life. Fuck how it works. I wish I was a fish or something. Something that was never aware of itself. I'm so fucking alone right now.

Chicken Wraps,
Marcus <3