Tiny Marbles - Day 49

A boy had come to an inner clearing of wood where a flowing river ran. He peered over his shoulder. The woods were grey with fog. He turned back and got down on one knee, his eyes glazed. He dipped his hand in the water and scooped some out. The water seemed black and old, as if it taken many years for it to come to this spot in the river. He put the water back. The ground around him was muddy yet firm. He sat down and dipped his feet in the river. The water was cold and empty. His gaze shifted to the ground next to him where he found a modest pile of tiny marbles. The marbles were all different colors. Some were speckled with bright colors, some were dull shades of earthy tones, and some were entirely translucent. He picked them up and examined them each individually. As he judged each one, he would do one of two things. If he did not like the marble, he would throw it in the river, condemning the marble to lay and stumble in the black fog of the water. If he considered the marble one of his favorites, then he laid it down on his other side. He did this one by one, looking at each marble for a very long time before finally deciding if it was worth keeping. Each distant splash thrashed with effort and ceased, ending as suddenly as it had begun. When the boy was done, he stood up in the increasing fog. He looked at the marbles next to him and bent to pick them up. The mud cracked and the marbles fell into the water. The boy froze and could not believe his misfortune. He stood back up and walked back into the woods. He looked back over his shoulder one last time across the river and saw a glint through the fog. A pile of tiny marbles on the other side.

Looking at marbles,
Marcus <3

Illusions and Depression - Day 48

I've recently come to find that maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit. I was told the other day that depressed people are depressed because they see the world for what it is. I like to think that this is true. And it makes sense.

But guys, I have a confession. I fell for some BS philosophy and I preached it forth to you guys. Positive thinking is bull shit. Not that thinking positively doesn't help, but the fact that positive thinking will make you successful and happy. I still think that it might, but maybe that conflicts with seeing things how they really are. I think that seeing things for what they really are leads you to experience a more genuine happiness. You are happy because you the situation around you made it so that you are happy. What I was thinking before was that maybe happiness came from deluding yourself into thinking you are happy. And I still think this is attainable, but maybe not what I want.

Society pressures you into finding success and happiness. Society has deluded itself into thinking there is happiness there. People who follow this assumption will become successful in that society, they will become happy. And I'm okay with that. I'm all for anyone and everyone being happy for as long as they live.

However, people who refuse to look at that society in this way become underwhelmed with it. They seem to think that they are wrong, and society tells them that they are looking at things the wrong way. The lack of success creates a depression. The fact that society discourages intelligence is no secret, and this is really just further evidence of this.

I dunno, what do I know. I'm just an angsty teenager that thinks everyone else is stupid because I'm full of hormones that make me think that, right? There's no way in fuck I could be right.

Stereotypes are cool. People are cool.

Also I wish people were easier to ignore. Or that it was easier to tell people they're retarded.

Bork.

Long time no rant,
Marcus <3

dododo - Day 47

Harpoon - Day 46

As you are all aware, the way I feel about life is thusly. Life fucks you in the ass with a spiky dildo until you die. And that is life. Well, I've decided that it's not that great. It's worse that that. Life doesn't just fuck you in the ass and call it good. Life likes to have a little fun with you first. Life likes to go "Oh, you know what? I'm done fucking you in the ass. I've got better shit to do because I'm mutha fuckin' life and I don't give a flying FUCK" and then you go "YAY! I'm not being fucked in the ass by a spiky dildo anymore! My life can start to improve!"

And then life starts to turn and walk away, and you are granted a momentary rest. The wounds around your now gaping asshole begin to heal, and the burns are soothed by the cool air that is now flowing in and around your ever-expanding butt cheeks. For this brief moment, life is great. And then life turns around and goes "PSYCHE! FUCK YOU I'M NEVER LETTING UP, BAHAHAHA!!!" And then he fucks you in the ass even harder than he ever did before. This is how life works and will always work. Some people can try and make the best out of their ass-fucking by saying that a God is doing the ass-fucking and that it's for a reason, but that's not really much better. Devoting (supposedly) 1/10th of your money and 1/7th of your time to someone who's fucking you in the ass just the same isn't really a lot better.

You know what? I have a story for you guys.

Once upon a time there was a whale. His name was Whaley. He was a pretty happy whale. He didn't have a whole lot, though. He had no friends, and no family. Nobody ever wanted to talk to Whaley. But he made due with what he had and was happy anyway. He was swimming along singing a song to himself when he began to feel that he needed to go up for air, as most whales tend to do. He went to the surface to get a breath of air and when he got there, he saw a boat. On the boat was a whaling crew. The whaling crew threw a harpoon at Whaley and killed him. You know why they killed him? Because they needed his guts. To make candles and shit. And they decided that they needed Whaley's guts more than Whaley needed his guts. They didn't care that Whaley liked his guts where they were, because they were only concerned with themselves. The worst part was, they didn't even just kill Whaley. They fed him first. They gave him a nice piping hot krill pie and the loved that pie with all his whaley heart. The men on the boat told Whaley to come with them and they would give him more krill pie. And Whaley followed them unknowingly being led to his own demise. The whalers pretended to be Whaley's friends, but they just wanted to kill him in the end. And yet, even after all this, Whaley still loved the whalers. He loved them because the whalers gave him a krill pie and had showed him more kindness than anyone else ever had. They had, for once, giving him something to actually be happy about. And they followed it up by harpooning him for what they wanted. And if Whaley were to somehow come back to life, he would still love them more than anyone or anything else because that's just what kinda whale Whaley was.

The End.

Life sucks and then you die.

I hate summer. It's misleading.

I hate growing up. It's also misleading. Well, not as misleading, but still shitty.

I guess life is just about powering through things and hopefully having a few good times while you're at it.

You only get one life and accomplishing things with it should be your priority. Right now, I think my priorities are few yet apparently hard to accomplish. What makes me happy is hard to come by. A lot of people have tried to convince me that happiness is self-generated. If that were true then we'd all be able to live in our own little box with nothing in it and the promise of doom yet we'd still be happy. Happiness comes from other people, whether it be because of something they made, did, or took part in, or whether it be that actual person directly. And it's a real shame when people decide that something else is worth more than that. When something else is worth more than that common good of happiness.

Whatever. My motto in the past has been "I don't care." but I think that philosophy is a bit dated for me. Not that it's a philosophy from and old time, I've just worn the fuck out of it. Now my motto is more "Life will go on." Bad things will happen. Good things will happen. More often that not, way more bad things will happen. But you know what? Life goes on. Life doesn't give a fuck whether or not bad things are happening or good things are happening, it just keeps going. So I guess I have to keep going. Plodding along the path until you ideally get another chance to smell the roses.

Save the Whales,

-Marcus ♥

TGIO - Day 45

I like this song.

Summer kind of sucks. Mostly because I'm not satisfied with anything at the moment. I'm 17 and I have an infinite amount of time, like, the world should be my oyster right now. I guess it will be soon enough. I'm keeping my head up for the moment.

Also, for all million of you kids that read this thing on your phone, there's a new mobile browser for blogspot so that'll be awesome for you guys. Happy reading. <3

Not a big fan of oysters,

-Marcus ♥

Ring - Day 44

You know what I've done with my summer? Fucking nothing. Summer started and my body promptly decided to get sick for a few days. I don't usually get sick. But apparently I have to get sick when fucking summer starts. God dammit. I've been in my room for like three days because there's nothing you can do when you're sick.

I just really hate everyone right now. I don't know why. I've just recently picked up this super introverted personality where I don't even want to talk to anyone ever. I just hate everyone that much. I even remember being a little kid and thinking that everyone around me was an idiot. God, why am I such an ass? Why can't I just herp and derp my way through life like everyone else seems to. It would make things a hell of a lot easier.

So basically the conclusion we've come to today is that I'm a generic angry teenager. Fuck my fucking life.

Fucking fuck fuck,

-Marcus ♥

Droplets - Day 43

Intentions of purity are best represented by the eyes of those that we love, that love us. In an ever expanding breadth of doubt, of shit, perhaps this brief moment of serenity can give us the strength to move on into the future, headstrong and willing. Maybe this sparkling drop in a sea of murk can overcome the odds and permeate the pollutants. Just maybe. And it may take time, and it may take effort, but it will happen, and the day will come. Many will have passed, many will not see the result of our efforts. But maybe it can happen. Maybe we can create something bigger than ourselves, and it starts with what I see in the halo of your eyes. Maybe hope is real.

I like to think that that can be my monologue and the end of the movie to my life.

Since there wasn't a music Thursday, here's some music.

This next song has a cool fan-made video. It's all scenes from pornos and movie sex scenes, but not the sex parts.