Party Time - Day 22

I'll go ahead and start off today's blog by apologizing for the lack of updates over the week. I wasn't at home a lot of the time or I just didn't have anything good to write about.

I'll go ahead and start this blog off by discussing the presidential debate-esque thing that happened on Thursday. The audience is only IB kids, firstly. And this made me realize something. That was the only population that really cared. Everyone else just votes because a piece of paper gets shoved in their face and all they really have to do is circle a name. Anyway, the questions are generic and so are the answers. Alysia informs us that she is, in fact, approachable. SO APPROACHABLE. MAYBE EVEN UNCOMFORTABLY APPROACHABLE. She may even approach you.

And not only was that her only answer for every question, Lillian and Cassie followed suit. Lillian basically had her generically oriented period on the discussion, and Cassie had the exact speech that I thought she would. "I put a microwave in the cafeteria and I'm completely oblivious as to what StuBo president actually does."

Moving backwards a little bit, I'd just like to point out that approachability is a non-issue nowadays because of the following reasons: 1. In order to run for StuBo president you obviously have some amount of approachability in the first place, 2. approachability is easy in the age of facebook, where contacting someone is a click and some button pusheys away.

Moving onwards into the future, I was also disappointed with the way they shot down a lot of the jokier questions. Diplomatically, you should give those kinds of questions as good of an answer you can or use your wit to joke them back, being your should-be-charismatic self. But instead what generally happened is that when Sam stood up to talk, the rest of everyone decided to ignore it. What the fuck is that? A leader is supposed to listen to the people they lead, not be an ass about it. God dammit, you can't just go "Oh, no, you're dumb." BECAUSE THAT PERSON IS WHO IS VOTING YOU GIANT DUMB FUCK.

I appreciate Sam for being the only candidate with half a brain and the ability to be aware of situations and control them accordingly. I also expect the most good and the most change from Sam. Alysia and Cassie are sheep and will follow what the other cabinet members tell them, and Lillian will keep things exactly the way they are now, except more annoyingly?

SAMMY WILL PUT HIS HAMMY IN YOUR FANNY

I also encourage you guys to pick up professionally made shirts from Sam as opposed to the shitty spray paint PoSs that Lillian made.

Moving on, I'd like to maybe talk about debate, seeing as that's where I was this weekend. I was judging, and it was awesome. I didn't really get to talk to people as much as I would have liked to, but that's okay. Good times were had by all nonetheless.

Hm, I guess that's all I had to say. That sucks.

Oh, I know what I want to talk about. I got nominated for Loyalty Court. Which is kinda cool. Anyway, I don't expect to win seeing as the trend is coughblackpeoplecough, but getting close wouldn't be bad. I'm an attention whore and so seeing my name somewhere is kinda cool. So go ahead and vote for me if you love me :D

I can't really think of anything else I want to talk about right now, so I'll try and hit you guys up later this week. My mom left for vacation on Friday so I'll be roaming the town this week, most likely.

With like-like,

Marcus ♥

Headaches - Day 21

As the title suggests, I have a headache. Today I've eaten cereal, bananas, grillquitos, and pizza. I'm tired. I want things to work.

My mom is leaving on Friday and my brother might be a butt and stay home. Which not only means I don't get the house to myself like I wanted, but I have to get him fucking dinner and breakfast and shit.

I've been watching YouTube videos all day. And it makes me realize my sad work ethic.

I can't think of anything else to say except I wish I had a giant internet following.

Sleepy,

Marcus ♥

PART 2 (8:55 PM)

YYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYYAyayayayyayayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyAYAYYAYAYA

AYAYAYYAY

yes

yay

fuck

yay

-Marcus (heart)

wait thats not how i do it

oh well

-marcus (herp)

Ounces - Day 20

YAY! :D

We've reached the big 2-0, people. I'd like to start off by thanking you guys for all the support I've gotten with this bloggy thing. Makes me feel like someone cares sometimes.

Anyway, sorry about the lack of updates as of late, as you may or may not know, I was in Carthage for debate this past weekend. For those of you curious I went 3-1 and missed cut because I had two opponents who went 0-4. Which sucks because debate tournament structure is fucked up and it should be more like Pokemon tournament structure because that makes an infinite more amount of sense.

I also didn't have to do an oratory because Mr. Tuckness sucks at managing things and so ten or so people ended up being out of an IE. I'm not gonna lie, the first time I wrote that last sentence I wrote "sucks at mangina" and I'm not really sure what that says about me and my subconscious.

Lately I've been trying to focus things on individual days. I'm going to try and do some stuff that will hopefully make my day go better. Firstly, though, I'd like to explain my rationale for this kind of thinking. Many successful people have the same mentality that I've kind of discussed a little bit before, and that's about positive thinking and how the universe will line up with what you want if you constantly surround yourself with this thing. I was listening to some inspirational Will Smith (as I frequently do), and he has this same mentality. He did add one interesting thing that I like, however. He explains how you shouldn't go out and say "I'm going to build a wall, and it's going to be the greatest wall ever." which is what many people do. He says you should go out, lay a brick and try and lay that brick as perfect as possible. And eventually, you will have your wall, and it will be better than it could have ever been. This kind of leads me to want to follow a more day-to-day kind of lifestyle because it makes each day feel like it matters. The first idea I have off the top of my head is to make a goal each and every day. Just one goal, and not a big one either. Maybe something general, maybe something more specific. But I feel like this kind of a thing will help make days a little more accomplished feeling.

Anyway, I'm feeling social recently, moreso than usual, and so you guys shouldn't be afraid to hit me up wherever you may see me.

That's all I really wanted to say tonight, I'll get back to you guys in a little bit though, so don't worry :]

Buddy Buddy,

Marcus ♥

Pokemon - Day 19

Snow days make me happy. I've been really happy today. I don't know why.

I still have no idea about anything as far as oratory goes, so I hope we don't have school tomorrow.

I don't really have a lot to talk about because today I'm content and lazy, so I'm gonna leave you guys some Pokemon pictures that make me laugh or happy.

Substance Pt. 2 - Day 18

Hey guys. Sorry I've been updating this non-consistently, but I've been not in the mood. I butchered that sentence but that's okay.

Today was my first day with my new schedule and boy, will my Tuesdays and Thursdays be filled with some excitement.

Math is the same, but now I have English and man is my class stupid. Before I was like "lolwut huckleberry finn" and everyone else was like "Jim and Huck are blah blah blah" and then I would make a comment on the underlying homoerotic theme of the book. But now when I'm like "what happened in the book?" people are like "lolwutbook".

Oh well, there are plenty of people to make fun of in that class. I'll lose some brain cells along the way though.

And then I had debate. So it was like, double the sleep.

Then I had Lib and Law. With the greatest group of people I could imagine. Also Mr. Shoemaker has a chin hole. It's just like a crater in his chin where all the stuff gathers. But that's okay, I don't judge that much. Lib and Law, more like, Lub without Flaw.

Yes, that was the best I could come up with.

Oh god, I'm going to debate this weekend and I need an Oratory. Something that I can just rant about for 8-10 mintues. Give me topic ideas! Anyone and everyone!

Also, I love Parli, because it's literally a debate you can do with no prep and just google it five minutes before and just win because the topics can get really one sided.

I might do my oratory on life graphs. Like how you can measure what you do with your life at the end of it and see if it was distributed like you wanted it. I made a pencil metaphor and everything. Well, the pencil metaphor is just that when a pencil is all spent up you can look at how you spent the lead. But sometimes things happen and you lose the pencil before it gets the chance to get used up. So don't use the pencil for stupid things because you may not have it for much longer.

Oh pencil, you so crazy.

/sigh

Obviously there are still people in this world who don't understand substance. And that's fine. They're going to go through their lives doing thing without substance and being completely fine muddling through things like a million others have before them. They're never going to do anything worth doing and eventually they'll die knowing they didn't do much, but they'll have some philosophy they saw in a movie and let it comfort them.

And as sad as that is, I don't give a fuck. People can do whatever they damn well please with their existence here on Earth. If they believe they're going somewhere else when they die and so they don't have to do shit here, that's fine. Let them do their nothing. But don't expect me to acknowledge your shit as something, and you better sure as damn hell fuck cunt bitch tits not expect me to conform to your way of life. I'm fine being me, and I'm gonna try and do shit. If you think I don't understand you, then that's a damn lie. I get it, you're lazy and never wanna do anything with your life, that's great. I get it. I don't want any part of it except telling you you're wrong. And don't get mad at me when suddenly your narrow minded viewpoint gets challenged and you might have to consider a new way of looking at things.

Gah, people make me angry sometimes. But I guess angry Marcus and good-writing Marcus are the same person a lot of the time.

Anyway, I'm gonna head off to bed here soon. Good night, Moon.

Oh, also, someone remind me tomorrow to talk about how girls are the most illogical race on the planet.

Your favorite ranter,

Marcus ♥

Bleh - Day 17

I've been at Sam's house for a year or so. So I don't have a lot to talk about. Also, T-shirts probably aren't going to happen because I'm lazy and nobody wants them. So fuck you guysssssssss.

I'm tired and not in the mood to rant because nobody listens.

Maybe I need to make this non-daily because then people will actually read it or something.

Into the Future,

Marcus ♥

The Holo Magikarp - Day 16

So you'll never guess what happened today. I went to Professor Oak and the first thing he says is "Are you a boy or a girl?" And I'm like "wtf, I'm a guy" and he's like "Oh yes, of course. What's my grandson's name?" And I'm like "idk, bro he's your poophead grandson" and he's like "Ah yes, his name is POOPHEAD" and I'm like "No need to yell, man."

Anyway, I picked Charmander and Poophead picked a Squirtle because he's a fucking dick.

Sometimes being a Pokemon trainer is hard. But it's okay, because I have this blog to keep me in the game, y'know?

Anyway, I need to go to that Pewter City Gym thing now, so I'll seeya guys later.

Pokemon Trainer,

Marcus ♥

Day 15 - Day 15

I hate this. I hate it I hate it I hate it. Today sucks. Tomorrow will suck. Yesterday sucked. All days suck. Nights too. Things always suck, sometimes they suck less than others. I live in a world where my skills are not appreciated. I hate everyone because they hate me. Something about beds make them inviting. When people get sad they want to stay in bed and sleep. Sleep is like death that you come out of.

I'm a terrible person. People like me shouldn't exist. I wish I was stupid. I wish I was stupid and happy like everyone else. Content with what life was and is and always will be. I wish I could just hit my head on a wall repeatedly until I was dumb enough to be content with everything like an animal or something.

Nobody gets their shit together until a third of their life is over, and sometimes not even then. Why does it take so long? Why can nobody put anything into perspective right now? Life is short and wasting it is a real shame. If we're not living in the now then what are we living in? We have to pursue what we love in life or else we might not do anything with life at all. I'm not gonna sit around and wait for life to hand me what I want. But life won't let me have what I want. So what the fuck am I supposed to do? I guess I'm just done, then.

Things don't work out for people like me. I got the short end of the stick, I feel. Maybe sometimes we all get the short end. But I got the short end because I'm not happy when I get the short end. When things don't go my way, I don't try and act like they did. I realize how life works and how when it's over I'm going to have to look back and see whether or not it was worth it all.

Of course I know everything, I'm fucking Marcus. Why wouldn't I know everything? I've got a fancypants blog that I had to make to get some fucking attention because that's all I really want from life. I just want someone somewhere to acknowledge me for a second because without other people I'm nothing. I'm like a fucking parasite. What kind of a shitty ass organism isn't even self sufficient. I'll tell you what kind, the kind named Marcus Mayhew.

All I thought I wanted from life was to find that one person. That was my goal. Just one. And I guess I still have to look. I guess I've gotta waste my fucking time. I'm gonna spend all fucking day looking around for this piece of shit that everyone else got before me.

I remember one Easter my grandparents thought it would be good to take me to a park where they were doing a public easter egg hunt. I was excited, I had a trash bag to put the eggs in, and I was determined to get one. It started. I remember one after the other, every time I saw an egg, someone took it from under me. I gave up. I started crying. My grandparents felt bad, and some grown ups came and helped me find some that had been left over. And they gave me some they saved, anticipating the sad sack kid, I guess. I realize now that I made my grandparents sad a lot because I was a fucking brat. And now my grandma is dead. I can't ever go back and tell her that even though I was only five when she died, I appreciated what she did for me. And I'll never forget that night we were playing checkers and we tied in only a few turns and I didn't understand how that was possible, or that time I got bit by her dog because I decided to walk around the tree it was tied too, and she gave me an ice pack. I can't tell her that because she's gone. Life is short. We only get to do so much. And sometimes it sucks to think that maybe things won't work out the way we want them to. It sucks a lot.

Maybe one day I'll get to tell my grandma how much I actually loved her. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll find that person who I've been looking for all my life, and maybe I won't. I guess we'll find out somewhere in the next ten years.

Marcus

Snow - Day 14

THERE IS WHITE STUFF ON THE GROUND ALL OVER EVERYWHERE OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

It's cold and I'm kinda grumpy cuz the snow. It makes driving hard. And school shouldn't be a thing on days like that but it was. Whyyyyyyyyyy. WHY? Also, I dropped my phone in the snow. It's still functional, but it was wet and dirty for a while. I made your mom wet and dirty for a while. Okay, that was bad.

I want it to be Thursday so I can play some Pokemon. And then not worry about school the next day. Yayayayayayaya.

I just realized you can tell a lot based on my desktop.

I like that wallpaper. It makes my desktop feel like some awesome rave thing or summat.

Oh, by the way, I made a new friend. His name is happybox.

This is happybox at the club.

Aw, happybox just got rejected. Now he's a sadbox.

Cheer up box guy, you'll make it some day.

I kind of want to grow my hair out a little bit before I cut it. Long hair is ballin'.

Maybe I should try emo hair. Like that thing where you've got the long piece over your eye. Makes me feel like a villain or something, man. MAN. WOMAN. WHATEVER GENDER YOU ARE PERSON WHO IS READING MY THOUGHTS FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE BECAUSE I ASSUME YOU ARE READING THIS THE NEXT DAY BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T USUALLY READ THIS THING AS SOON AS IT COMES OUT.

Sorry guys, I'm a little moody tonight. I'll get better over the weekend.

I need to learn how to give massages now. Seeya laterrrrrr.

Wishes he was a robot sometimes,

Marcus ♥

Zombie Love - Day 13

Hay gurl. You're lookin' real good.

I'm gonna start off by showing you guys two of my favorite comedian videos on YouTube.

This first one I like because of the last guy.

And this one I like because of buffet guy. And the last guy.

Anyway, someone in my Computer Apps class said they didn't like dubstep because it all sounded the same. Well or course it all sounds the same, it's a fucking genre of music. If it sounded like something else then it wouldn't be fucking dubstep. What's the kid expecting, dubstep with acoustic guitar and an accordion?

Also Norm Ridder came into that same class and the first thing he says to Mrs. Ryan is "Yeah, I ran into some kids playing Monopoly in the next room over." And she made up this bull shit excuse that they were in her accounting class and were practicing for a final. Made me lol.

I thought I was done showing you guys videos but I refound this and I love it.

I'm cold.

So I'm changing my schedule. I'm excited. Less IB classes. Yayyyyyy. I have Lib and Law, Personal Finance, AND Debate. Yes. Victory thy name is already being to graduate.

I kinda want the t-shirt design to be "Zombie Love" With a man zombie and a lady zombie. Let me know what you think.

Thanks for all the support you guys have given me. It really motivates me to write this poopery and make me real happy and stuff.

Your zombie,

Marcus ♥

Oh dear - Day 12

Well, I just got back from Mountain Grove, probably the finest city in America. I mostly love it because on the way there they have a KFC/Taco Bell. That's right, both of 'em! As soon as we got there our party learned that the toilets had been destroyed, something we probably should have anticipated. But yeah, as cool as it is, there's not any special combo items and I want them to exist. Like double downs with beef. Oh my god. Also they had a KFC buffet with a senior discount. And this fat lady got a drum stick and a plate of pudding. It made me happy. Puddin' stick. That should be a thing.

I love going on Pokemon tournaments. It's the best hobby in the world. I've gotten to travel to places that I would have otherwise never gone to, and with a really great group of people too. I've met lots of new people and done a lot of great things. Pokemon has also arguably given me one of my greatest achievements, which was getting 2nd place at States. (Should have been first, but I don't want to talk about that D:)

I also would have gone to Cracker Barrel significantly less.

I want to write a song that is mostly bass. I don't see why it hasn't been done, or if it has been done, why have I not heard it? Maybe it would be too powerful. I would just cum everywhere and die. And then when they find my body they'd be like "Woah man, that guy is dead AND covered in semen." Then they would pick up my album and also die. Then eventually everyone in the world would be dead and covered in semen from their own bodies and probably other people's bodies. Now you may be saying "Marcus, girls don't make semen." And I would like to say to that... yes, yes they don't.

I feel like writing a half novel half movie zombie movie/book scene. The main character's name will be Hero, for the sake of a place holder.

Hero approached the zombies warily. One began to jog over to him. (Zombies jog in my zombie universe. They're like animals, but their legs are fucked up so they can't run.)

(The zombie looks like a more living-like zombie and not one of those grey moldy ones)

Hero has never actually killed a zombie before, and so performing this task is somewhat daunting. He knew full well that zombies were hardly considered living anymore, but the act would feel the same. He decided the best approach would be to attack before he could give himself a chance to hesitate.

(Hero swings a machete wildly at the zombie's throat. He only manages to get the machete half way through, and after some struggle with the panicked zombie, he starts to stagger backwards.)

The zombie spewed blood throughout the nearby area and eventually fell to the ground clawing at the weapon lodged in it. Hero, tears in his eyes, smashed a hammer into the zombie's head. The crunch of the skull was more than he had expected. He dropped the hammer after the zombie laid still, and took a few deep breaths.

That didn't come out as well as I had planned but that's okay, because now you all have the imagery of redead zombies in your head.

Also, this is a tiny cute version of what I pictured that zombie to look like.

Now here's that same zombie with a bow for maximum cuteness.

How adorable! And he already looks a bit like Hitler, so we might as well finish that off.

Baw. It's pictures like these that truly make life special.

Anyway, I'll see you guys tomorrow.

Your muhhhhhhhh (that's zombie for freind),

Marcus ♥

Myoozik - Day 11

I wanna love you, you already know, I wanna love you.

Hay gurlz and doodz. Recently I've been experimenting with some stuff and I think I want to bust into the female pop star scene. I've got the moves and the hip action, the slightly feminine ticks, and I've definitely got the voice. Also I'd be a lesbian so that way I can still get with Selena Gomez.

Oh my god, I've said so many things today. Like way more than a person should say in a day. I'm starting to think that I legitimately don't need anything to get high, I can just do it myself by being my sexy self. Y'know? It's like, woah man, that light is floating next to that sign. That didn't really make sense but that's fine.

Singing is, in my opinion, the best natural talent you can have. Because serenading the ladies becomes less of a chore when you can sing the most romantic of ballads to them. Which is why I feel blessed every day I sing to the birds and they sing back. I'm serious, it's friggin great.

I also want to learn how to play the steel drums. Someone buy me some.

ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod

ionlyhaveanhourlefttofinishthisfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Euphoria is a cool word. I was in the euphoria of it all. etc etc. There's no point to this I just think it's a friggin cool word.

I've started to have a desire to want to hit on every attractive girl I see, and I may start doing that. Or hit up the clubs. Or both. Hey ladies at the club, I see you dancing. Maybe you'd like to come dance with me on this side of the dance floor. Or you can just keep doing your thing. That's cool too. I'll go cry now.

On second thought, that's not the best idea.

Writing these things at night doesn't work as well. I need to be able to write these from my phone some how. Poooooooop.

I'll try and write tomorrow's in the morning to make up for this shitty one.

I need more people to text, throw me one. 417-268-0929.

Or prank call me, that'll make me feel just as loved, I'm sure.

I need a dancey song so I can dance,

Marcus ♥

Da Hollah Korp - Day 10

Hi guyssssssssssss :D

I'd like to start today's carp by telling you something that kind of inspired me today. In Biology this morning I was looking at Mr. Friesen's fish tanks and I saw this one little white fish swimming in a panicked fashion at the glass. He didn't stop either, he just kept going because he was going insane trying to get out of his tank. And then I looked at all the other fish and they're just drifting along like dumb asses and not doing anything at all.

This kind of made me think a little bit. What a beautiful gift self awareness is, that we are able to look at our own selves and change what we do and decide how we want to spend our time. Animals can't do that for the most part, they just do what it takes to live and they move on.

Anyway, I felt for this little fish and I wanted him to accomplish his little fishy goal because knowing the track record of Mr. Friesen fish I knew he didn't have much longer. So I reached my hand into the tank and grabbed him by the tail. I turned around and nobody seemed to notice what I had done, so I turned back to the tank and pulled the fish out. I threw it out the window. Now he was free. The fish was able to go out into the big world and do what he pleased whenever he pleased! After I threw him out the window he grew wings, of course. Have you ever thrown a fish out a window? Well I have and that's what happens. He turned around in the air and said

And he said that in a deep mystical creature voice. Like Aslan's. After that he told me I could have anything I wanted, and you know what I asked for? A ride on his fucking back. And he did it.

And yes that picture if completely legit. I had one of the dumbass fish take the picture with my magic camera that pictures text on a black and white filter. Don't judge me because I talk in Comic Sans.

My point in all this is that if we're playing that game where you tell people what you haven't done and if they've done it they lose which doesn't make sense because people who have done more should be rewarded, then I'll win because I'll be all like "I've never NOT ridden on a fucking majestic-ass fish with wings that I saved from a life of drudgery." I don't know if I used the word drudgery right in that sentence. Just pretend I used the word poopery. Which is a Marcus official word, by the way.

I'm trying to decide how to react to the animals dying everywhere. I'm hoping that it's God replacing all the animals with Pokemon. Because that would be awesome. I would change my last name to Oak and name my child Professor. And then make him name my grandson Gary. Fuck yes. Also, I hope this is a good enough excuse to let my mom know I don't like eating fish.

I keep doing this thing where I half yawn a lot. I have no idea why it's happening. Maybe I'm only half tired.

I want to try some kind of project. Like, using this blog thingamabob. Maybe in the future. When robots are everywhere. Just kidding, less in the future.

OH WAIT I ALREADY HAVE A PROJECT IT'S T-SHIRTS. I'll get me some photoshop today and then you guys need to tell me if you want one after I put the design up. As of right now I'm thinking the design will be a fish (not necessarily like the one above) with a hollow part in the middle and inside the hollow part is a guy with his head in his knees lookin' all sad like. Let me know what you guys think.

Oh god, I just read the newest Cyanide and Happiness and I feel slightly obligated to show you.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I guess great comic minds think alike? Or in Comic Sans.

Anyway, that is all. I encourage you guys to let me know how I'm doing with this blog thingy. Leave a comment or contact me on facebook! You can also reach me at my lovely phone number on my facebook, or follow me, @StickAndLeaf on twitter!

Your friend who may or may not be naked at the moment,

Marcus ♥

Time - Day 9

Hey guys, I haven't had much time today seeing as I was busy dodging my mom only to have her not react as badly as I thought she would. I've decided that I'm going to drop some IB classes because I need a not shitty GPA.

Shirts are becoming more of a reality every day, I need photoshop and I probably should write all the shirts down one of these days. If you guys could help motivate me with that by just adamantly telling me what you want then I'll be happy to oblige.

This is a picture of a guy eating another guy. It's mostly here to take up space but if you want to frame it and hang it on your wall I would not be opposed.

Also, I love that Lipton Green Tea stuff. Also the commercials. Here's some more commercial filler.

Anyway guys, I'm sorry I haven't been able to pump these things out the same way I used to. Before I had some ideas already and I had like two hours to fuck around with them and now with school it kinda sucks, but I'm trying my hardest! I'm like that train guy.

This is roughly what I look like as a train.

Anyway, I'm about to finish this sandwich then off to bed. I want you guys to know I'm happier than I've ever been and it's partly due to this blog. Thanks guys :]

Also, if you haven't added me on facebook, then do so! Marcus Mayhew is the name, and bloggin' is my game.

Loves you so much he just might bite your ear off,

Marcus ♥

Poopery - Day 8

So I've been talking to you guys a little bit and I've figured out a couple things. One, a lot of people stopped reading after the first couple days and/or when I visited my dad, and two, you guys like it when I spew nonsensical shit everywhere. So guess what I'm gonna do? Give you guys what you fucking want even though I've got a million and one things I want to talk about.

Wait, before I draw a picture I just realized that a vegetarian plant is a cannibal and a meatetarian plant is like a vegetarian human.

Anyway.

Who the fuck invents things. Like just go through your day except ask yourself how everything you touch got invented, and eventually find something weird. Like dicks. Who invented those? Get it. I made a masturbation joke. Bahahaha. Ha. Bitch.

You know what? I'm way too distracted. I'll do something tomorrow. Tell me what you want for T-shirts you poop heads.

Poop Head,

Marcus ♥

What's Up - Day 7

Ohai gaiz. :]

So today was the first day back to school. And the monotony is already settling back in. First I had math and Florez decided that the best way to spend it was to be herself and make me sad. Then I went to history and it was probably the best History class of the year. And then I had debate and I managed to convince Tuckness that I wanted to debate but didn't want to go to a tournament or something like that. Then I ate lunch. Then I went to math again and doodled some t-shirt designs, and then I went home. Omnom home.

Today I realized the value of clothes. Not only do they prevent my massive penis from getting all over the place and protect people from the blinding light that is my abs, they get you noticed without any effort on your part. I will never underestimate the value of a fifty dollar jacket again. I did the math and I got like two compliments an hour. That's like two times as many as normal at least. And I got to do the clever thing where I'm like "I like yours too" "But I'm not wearing one" thing. I love it. I'm gonna be that dad who goes to a restaurant and says "Hi can I take your order?" And then laugh as the confused waitress smiles and my kids turn red like the tomatoes I'm about to not order because tomatoes are fucking disgusting.

Gah, these quesadillas that my mom made are fucking terrible. Try one! Oh wait, you can't because you're reading this and not actually talking to me. Why aren't you talking to me? You should be. Ass. Bitch.

The new League of Legends patch makes me kinda happy. Just gonna throw that out there.

Does anyone want to give me free money? Because I would like some free money. So I may purchase things with it. Purchasing things makes me happy because I'm naturally materialistic as a teenager. I fucking love it. I get a thing, I'm happy. It doesn't take anything else! Just a thing. And maybe some other things. Things things things. Who needs shit? I've got things! Fuck people, all I need is things!

Bahahahaha, I'm gonna have such a great year. Because I don't give a fuck anymore. Not giving a fuck is really easy and it's extremely liberating. You should try it, if even for a day. It's so relaxing. And nothing bothers you. Ever. Yayyayayayayyayayayay.

I miss cake. I had some cake over break and now I won't get cake any time soon. Boo. I want some cake. Whoever invented cake is a genius. Also dildos. Because you know that had to happen out of necessity but that guy must have had some balls to try and market those. Some balls and an oh so moldable phallus. Victory thy name is penis.

God this song is so good. It makes me want to dance. When's the next dance? I want to go to that. And do all the fine ass ladies because I mother fucking can. You know why? Because I don't give a fuck anymore. I'll do what I want. But for right now I'll just dance in my basement. I think I'm gonna try and cover a song for you guys here in a few days. Probably an 80s song. Because I'm not afraid. I AM NOT AFRAID BRIDGE KEEPER. I feel like that's not the quote but it's the thought that counts.

/sigh. Being happy and care-free leads to a lack of rants and thus a short blog day, I guess.

Let me know what you guys want for shirts. Black or white, regular or v-neck. Also fuck me.

Your jammin beat buddy,

Marcus :D

Holidays - Day 6

DID YOU MISS ME? :D

What am I kidding? Of course you did. You're my bud. You're my friend! With benefits!

First on the Agenda I would like to explain why I was gone in a little bit of detail. I haven't seen my dad in almost a year, and he got the money together to come out a little after Christmas. I went over to my dad's house in Ozark where my step mom has been this entire time. At first I thought I would be popping in and out every day to do stuff with people over break like I had originally intended, but then I started to realize that there isn't really anything I prioritize over spending time with my dad for Christmas and New Year's Eve. Ultimately, you only get to spend so many days with the people around you, so you should do it when you can, especially when it's someone you love.

In other news, I've been talking to some associates and discussing prices for potential shirts, and it looks like they'll be 7 dollars. That's a pretty good price for a shirt, and I make a dollar for each shirt. The only thing I would like to do before I start taking orders or whatever the fuck I need to do is get a design. I've already got one in mind, and I may actually draw it myself, but I feel like I need someone who is a little more artistically inclined to do it. But as of right now, it DOES look like the shirts will happen.

Whenever you post a blog entry you can tag it with labels to help people find blogs about your subject matter, I guess? And the example labels are "e.g. scooters, vacation, fall". Who the fuck is blogging about scooters and seasons? Like, I don't gain any understanding of what labels are or should be based on those examples. Fucking scooters. Scooters gonna scoot.

You know what I hate? Teachers that give you giant assignments over break. It's like, what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Isn't the whole point of a BREAK to give us a BREAK? Like, from what we normally do? Which is work? Same with the weekends. It's not like if you have an office job and you go home for the weekend then they give you work to bring back on Monday. At least I think they don't. ANYWAY MY POINT IS MRS. ROBERTS IS DUMB BECAUSE SHE GIVES US GIANT READING ASSIGNMENTS OVER BREAK AND I DIDN'T DO IT BECAUSE I WAS BUSY SPENDING TIME WITH MY DAD WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN A LONG LONG TIME WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Okay, I just read a shit ton of Pokemon comics. I'm gonna take a break. Let's talk about the new year a bit, shall we? Sophomore year was arguably the best year of high school for me. That was my "not care year". I liked it. I had a mantra and everything. I don't care. Something bad happens? I don't care. I think the fact that I gave it a name and everything helped with the whole positive outlook thing, and I want to go back to that. So this next semester and year are going to be not care year part 2. Ultimately, high school doesn't matter. And unless you go to some fancy pants college that everyone knows, college doesn't matter a lot either. You use high school to prepare for college, you use college to prepare for getting a career, you get a career to prepare for the end of your life to die. On a day to day basis, nothing in high school matters. Does that fact that I didn't do my English reading matter? Of course not. Five years from now, I won't remember it. And if you never remember something, and it didn't have enough repercussions to affect anything, then it's like it never happened.

Alright, I just had an argument with my mom. That wasted a good 30 minutes of my life. When she's on her deathbed I'm going to explain to her that she might as well have not been alive because she did nothing and is nothing. And then she'll die with the knowledge that her kids hate her and nobody ever loved her because she was a shitty person.

I don't care who you are, this is true. Nobody is special. Nobody has some quality that makes them worth something. Some people are better than other people. Some people are worse than everyone and don't deserve to exist because they're simply shitty people and the world would be better off without them around anymore. It's called the needs of the many vs. the needs of the few. Sure, maybe someone somewhere has enough ignorance to think my mom is a great person. But guess what? If everyone got to know her, I have no doubt in my mind that we'd be better off without her. I'm glad she thinks I'm a less-than-ideal son because pleasing that woman should be a sin.

Can you tell I'm mad? I'm mad. A week of my dad shows me how truly shitty she can be.

I need a fucking Xbox. I managed to scrape a little bit of money together from Christmas and convince my brother and now an Xbox sounds plausible. I just need to find a used one somewhere that will sell for 100ish dollars. I guess I have to wait until it's a time that's not after Christmas.

I don't always like saying this because I feel conceited when I do, but I guess being conceited has never been my priority in the first place. But I feel like I'm significantly more mature than everyone around me sometimes. And you may be thinking "but Marcus, you always do things like rub your nipples because you think it's funny!" Well, ignorant fucker, being silly is different from being mature. I've heard that pain is how we grow. And maybe that's why. Maybe because Ive been fucked over my entire life (or at least felt like I've been fucked over or convinced myself I have) then I've come to be a very mature person. Or maybe it's because I watched a lot of sitcoms when I was in first grade. I dunno, maybe both.

But you know what? I don't care. I don't care that my life is or was shitty. I'm just gonna look forward and try to make what I can out of what I have left here on earth. All I want from life is one thing. I want to be on my death bed, look up into the light on the ceiling above my bed and say "I'm happy with what I did with my time here." If I can do that, everything will be alright, and it will all have been worth it. So fuck you world. Fuck you for trying to tell me what makes me happy and what will lead to a successful life, because ultimately that comes down to the individual. And you know what? I'm fucking seventeen. I'm SUPPOSED to make mistakes so I know that the stupid thing I did was stupid. That's how you become a fucking person.

God, I love being a stubborn ass teenager. I love this blog. I can say whatever the fuck I want with no knowledge of what anything is.

So I guess my point of this last little ranty section is this: do whatever the fuck you want. In the end, it's not gonna matter what that guy thinks, it's not gonna matter what I think, it's not gonna matter what your family and friends think. All that's gonna matter is that you were happy and you did what you wanted. And this philosophy can apply even if you're a Christian. Because if Heaven is perfect, then everyone there will accept you for who you are, flaws and all, and they'll respect the fact that you did what you wanted with your life. But that's assuming Heaven is a material place like here, which doesn't really make sense because people aren't perfect, and what we do isn't perfect, but Heaven is. And everyone's definition of perfect is different. But maybe it's a personal thing. But maybe I'm getting into a discussion with myself about things I don't even believe in.

Always reminding you of your impending death,

Marcus ♥