spores - day 57

Recently I've felt as if life has he potential to be really simple and yet it never is. I also don't understand my utter lack of motivation. I feel like a lot of problems in my life get solved by getting a job. But I don't want a job. I think maybe it's because I'm subconsciously afraid. I feel like getting a job is being forced to grow up. I dunno, everything just seems so trivial nowadays. Like, my goal in life is almost just to get through it. I have this super strong desire to have a girlfriend. I have no idea why. I guess my hormones are telling me to fuck otherwise the human race will end or something like that. But I just have this desire to have a girl who is able to just support me. I guess I'm just looking for this support that I've never had. Everybody is just so superficial and only concerned with themselves nowadays. Anyway, I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, I was just compelled to write today. Writing is just something I have to do every once in a while, thus the blog. I'm going to see if I can't take my computer in to a shop tomorrow and get a free diagnosis with the slight hope that they find a simple fix and do it for free or something. I really wish people still read this.

Hungrily,
Marcus <3

animals - day 55

People are so superficial. People get so wrapped up in day to day things it's hilarious. Nobody ever just stops and thinks about what the end goal might be, what it could be. EVER. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and people just don't fucking think about that shit. People just go on fingering each other's ass holes day in and day out and nobody even stops to wonder why. Soooo fucking superficial. Everyone is just so fucking dumb. I know people make fun of me for thinking everyone around me is dumb except me, but honestly, most of those people have yet to prove to me their worth. Of course people will try to justify the way they live, of course people are going to try and say, "No Marcus, you're the odd one out, it's you who's wrong." But I'm just not going to believe it. Nope. I'm just so mad at everyone right now. I'm so angry at my situation. And I don't even have anyone to tell, so I just write in this fucking blog that all of about two people still even read. Like, nobody gives a fuck about my problems. Nobody cares about what I have to say because everyone 's too busy fingering ass holes. Who would stop and think about anything or listen to marcus when we could all just finger some good ol' fashioned ass hole. And I really don't think this is ever going to change. Life is just a big ass fucking, whether it be stroked by other folks, or torn open by life situations, you better bend over and spread them cheeks because you're in for a ride, apparently.

I don't want to leave my bed ever again.

Sincerely,
Marcus <3

Holes - Day 54

I hate the people my dad marries. Like, seriously? Fuck them. They're ruining my fucking life. People are ruining my life. Without people, I could just do what I want. I seriously just want to bury myself in a hole and just live there. Nobody wants me around. Nobody likes me. I've been thinking about suicide a lot since school started again. I fucking hate school. It turns people into such shit heads. Everyone gets so wrapped up in all this superficial shit that they wouldn't otherwise. Because people are things to impress. It's all so hypocritical. Like, school is just a building where people can go to finger each others ass holes, except you have to go to school. And if you don't want to finger somebody's ass, well then you're a failure because when it comes right down to it we're all just a society of ass fingerers. So anyway, suicide. I don't think I want to commit suicide right now, but I'm pretty sure that's how I eventually want to go. How life goes will depend on whether or not it happens sooner or later I s'pose. Fuck life. Fuck how it works. I wish I was a fish or something. Something that was never aware of itself. I'm so fucking alone right now.

Chicken Wraps,
Marcus <3

Waiting is lonliness - Day 53

Day one of school.

Promptness

Politeness

Prepared

Productive

Positive

Also known as the five P's of indoctrination.

Not sleeping is taking its toll.

-8:08 AM

My tummy hurts

-8:10 AM

Is mayonnaise an instrument?

-8:34 AM

Adults at central = all retarded

-9:35 AM

Someone being offended at the word retarded because they know someone who is retarded is like being offended if someone says asian because you know someone who is asian.

-10:50 AM

In the counselor's office. Teachers, parents, people in general, all stupid. Counselors are not efficient at all.

-12:19 PM

Feeling really bad. Physically. WTF, physical fitness.

- 1:19 PM

Attendance nerf

- 1:53 PM

Fading. So tired.

- 2:14 PM

Trippin' balls. Ability to function deteriorating. Must sleep soon.

- 2:55 PM

Also, I like seals. They're good people.

- 2:55 PM

School makes me lonely no matter what happens.

- 2:57 PM

People really are all alone. Sometimes you're just alone with other people.

-2:58 PM

I wish I knew what time it is.

- 2:59 PM

Waiting isn't much fun.

- 3:01 PM

I just checked the time. It's actually 3:19.

- 3:19 PM

yay school.

Hasn't slept for a long ass time so forgot how to use these closing thingies,

Marcus ♥

Night - Day 52

I don't really see what the down side to this whole being nocturnal thing is. I get to be left alone for my entire period of consciousness and since I have this everpresent ability to not get along with people it let's me get out of peoples' ways and they out of mine. I also like it because I usually wake up during a REM cycle and I can remember my dreams easier. For the past two nights I've had pretty nifty dreams that I've remembered. It also give you this really trippy feeling when you first wake up because you don't know if it's a dream or not and stuff. I might even transition this into that thing where you take five 20 minute naps of pure REM sleep and that's the only sleep you need. And I could just do that through the school year. I would totally be down. Also, it's almost five AM at the moment, I might not even sleep tonight as I'm still not tired.

In the night,

Marcus ♥

Wells - Day 51

And we continue to descend into the endless well of darkness. The small, fragile, spiral wooden staircase leading forever downward. Each step disappears into the nothing as we lift our feet from it. The light above dwindles, we soon forget what light even looked like. This damp dark place is now all we know. One thing can remind us, though. The well's bucket can retrieve us from the depth and return us to the surface, if only we could find it. At times it seems that we can see it, but it is merely that we have hoped for it so much that what was there was just as much nothing as there had always been. And so we walk downward, ever downward into the well, trying to remember from where we came. And waiting for the bucket, to save us from the well.

Day 50

Fuck this shit. I'm so fucking done with everything. People will remember the name Marcus Samuel Mayhew IV for one reason or another.

Tiny Marbles - Day 49

A boy had come to an inner clearing of wood where a flowing river ran. He peered over his shoulder. The woods were grey with fog. He turned back and got down on one knee, his eyes glazed. He dipped his hand in the water and scooped some out. The water seemed black and old, as if it taken many years for it to come to this spot in the river. He put the water back. The ground around him was muddy yet firm. He sat down and dipped his feet in the river. The water was cold and empty. His gaze shifted to the ground next to him where he found a modest pile of tiny marbles. The marbles were all different colors. Some were speckled with bright colors, some were dull shades of earthy tones, and some were entirely translucent. He picked them up and examined them each individually. As he judged each one, he would do one of two things. If he did not like the marble, he would throw it in the river, condemning the marble to lay and stumble in the black fog of the water. If he considered the marble one of his favorites, then he laid it down on his other side. He did this one by one, looking at each marble for a very long time before finally deciding if it was worth keeping. Each distant splash thrashed with effort and ceased, ending as suddenly as it had begun. When the boy was done, he stood up in the increasing fog. He looked at the marbles next to him and bent to pick them up. The mud cracked and the marbles fell into the water. The boy froze and could not believe his misfortune. He stood back up and walked back into the woods. He looked back over his shoulder one last time across the river and saw a glint through the fog. A pile of tiny marbles on the other side.

Looking at marbles,
Marcus <3

Illusions and Depression - Day 48

I've recently come to find that maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit. I was told the other day that depressed people are depressed because they see the world for what it is. I like to think that this is true. And it makes sense.

But guys, I have a confession. I fell for some BS philosophy and I preached it forth to you guys. Positive thinking is bull shit. Not that thinking positively doesn't help, but the fact that positive thinking will make you successful and happy. I still think that it might, but maybe that conflicts with seeing things how they really are. I think that seeing things for what they really are leads you to experience a more genuine happiness. You are happy because you the situation around you made it so that you are happy. What I was thinking before was that maybe happiness came from deluding yourself into thinking you are happy. And I still think this is attainable, but maybe not what I want.

Society pressures you into finding success and happiness. Society has deluded itself into thinking there is happiness there. People who follow this assumption will become successful in that society, they will become happy. And I'm okay with that. I'm all for anyone and everyone being happy for as long as they live.

However, people who refuse to look at that society in this way become underwhelmed with it. They seem to think that they are wrong, and society tells them that they are looking at things the wrong way. The lack of success creates a depression. The fact that society discourages intelligence is no secret, and this is really just further evidence of this.

I dunno, what do I know. I'm just an angsty teenager that thinks everyone else is stupid because I'm full of hormones that make me think that, right? There's no way in fuck I could be right.

Stereotypes are cool. People are cool.

Also I wish people were easier to ignore. Or that it was easier to tell people they're retarded.

Bork.

Long time no rant,
Marcus <3

dododo - Day 47

Harpoon - Day 46

As you are all aware, the way I feel about life is thusly. Life fucks you in the ass with a spiky dildo until you die. And that is life. Well, I've decided that it's not that great. It's worse that that. Life doesn't just fuck you in the ass and call it good. Life likes to have a little fun with you first. Life likes to go "Oh, you know what? I'm done fucking you in the ass. I've got better shit to do because I'm mutha fuckin' life and I don't give a flying FUCK" and then you go "YAY! I'm not being fucked in the ass by a spiky dildo anymore! My life can start to improve!"

And then life starts to turn and walk away, and you are granted a momentary rest. The wounds around your now gaping asshole begin to heal, and the burns are soothed by the cool air that is now flowing in and around your ever-expanding butt cheeks. For this brief moment, life is great. And then life turns around and goes "PSYCHE! FUCK YOU I'M NEVER LETTING UP, BAHAHAHA!!!" And then he fucks you in the ass even harder than he ever did before. This is how life works and will always work. Some people can try and make the best out of their ass-fucking by saying that a God is doing the ass-fucking and that it's for a reason, but that's not really much better. Devoting (supposedly) 1/10th of your money and 1/7th of your time to someone who's fucking you in the ass just the same isn't really a lot better.

You know what? I have a story for you guys.

Once upon a time there was a whale. His name was Whaley. He was a pretty happy whale. He didn't have a whole lot, though. He had no friends, and no family. Nobody ever wanted to talk to Whaley. But he made due with what he had and was happy anyway. He was swimming along singing a song to himself when he began to feel that he needed to go up for air, as most whales tend to do. He went to the surface to get a breath of air and when he got there, he saw a boat. On the boat was a whaling crew. The whaling crew threw a harpoon at Whaley and killed him. You know why they killed him? Because they needed his guts. To make candles and shit. And they decided that they needed Whaley's guts more than Whaley needed his guts. They didn't care that Whaley liked his guts where they were, because they were only concerned with themselves. The worst part was, they didn't even just kill Whaley. They fed him first. They gave him a nice piping hot krill pie and the loved that pie with all his whaley heart. The men on the boat told Whaley to come with them and they would give him more krill pie. And Whaley followed them unknowingly being led to his own demise. The whalers pretended to be Whaley's friends, but they just wanted to kill him in the end. And yet, even after all this, Whaley still loved the whalers. He loved them because the whalers gave him a krill pie and had showed him more kindness than anyone else ever had. They had, for once, giving him something to actually be happy about. And they followed it up by harpooning him for what they wanted. And if Whaley were to somehow come back to life, he would still love them more than anyone or anything else because that's just what kinda whale Whaley was.

The End.

Life sucks and then you die.

I hate summer. It's misleading.

I hate growing up. It's also misleading. Well, not as misleading, but still shitty.

I guess life is just about powering through things and hopefully having a few good times while you're at it.

You only get one life and accomplishing things with it should be your priority. Right now, I think my priorities are few yet apparently hard to accomplish. What makes me happy is hard to come by. A lot of people have tried to convince me that happiness is self-generated. If that were true then we'd all be able to live in our own little box with nothing in it and the promise of doom yet we'd still be happy. Happiness comes from other people, whether it be because of something they made, did, or took part in, or whether it be that actual person directly. And it's a real shame when people decide that something else is worth more than that. When something else is worth more than that common good of happiness.

Whatever. My motto in the past has been "I don't care." but I think that philosophy is a bit dated for me. Not that it's a philosophy from and old time, I've just worn the fuck out of it. Now my motto is more "Life will go on." Bad things will happen. Good things will happen. More often that not, way more bad things will happen. But you know what? Life goes on. Life doesn't give a fuck whether or not bad things are happening or good things are happening, it just keeps going. So I guess I have to keep going. Plodding along the path until you ideally get another chance to smell the roses.

Save the Whales,

-Marcus ♥

TGIO - Day 45

I like this song.

Summer kind of sucks. Mostly because I'm not satisfied with anything at the moment. I'm 17 and I have an infinite amount of time, like, the world should be my oyster right now. I guess it will be soon enough. I'm keeping my head up for the moment.

Also, for all million of you kids that read this thing on your phone, there's a new mobile browser for blogspot so that'll be awesome for you guys. Happy reading. <3

Not a big fan of oysters,

-Marcus ♥

Ring - Day 44

You know what I've done with my summer? Fucking nothing. Summer started and my body promptly decided to get sick for a few days. I don't usually get sick. But apparently I have to get sick when fucking summer starts. God dammit. I've been in my room for like three days because there's nothing you can do when you're sick.

I just really hate everyone right now. I don't know why. I've just recently picked up this super introverted personality where I don't even want to talk to anyone ever. I just hate everyone that much. I even remember being a little kid and thinking that everyone around me was an idiot. God, why am I such an ass? Why can't I just herp and derp my way through life like everyone else seems to. It would make things a hell of a lot easier.

So basically the conclusion we've come to today is that I'm a generic angry teenager. Fuck my fucking life.

Fucking fuck fuck,

-Marcus ♥

Droplets - Day 43

Intentions of purity are best represented by the eyes of those that we love, that love us. In an ever expanding breadth of doubt, of shit, perhaps this brief moment of serenity can give us the strength to move on into the future, headstrong and willing. Maybe this sparkling drop in a sea of murk can overcome the odds and permeate the pollutants. Just maybe. And it may take time, and it may take effort, but it will happen, and the day will come. Many will have passed, many will not see the result of our efforts. But maybe it can happen. Maybe we can create something bigger than ourselves, and it starts with what I see in the halo of your eyes. Maybe hope is real.

I like to think that that can be my monologue and the end of the movie to my life.

Since there wasn't a music Thursday, here's some music.

This next song has a cool fan-made video. It's all scenes from pornos and movie sex scenes, but not the sex parts.

Hi Hater - Day 42

Culture - Day 41

Okay, so I'm going to start this off by ranting about something I heard in personal finance. Now, since I've apparently established teacher bashing as a thing, I'm going to do it a little more freely perhaps. We all know Mr. White is a huge dumb ass. But I guess this is not specifically about him. Most people take this approach where they live modestly and spend their entire lives saving up so they can retire and live well, right? This is just the American philosophy of economics to the Joe-Schmoe kinda person. Work hard so you can provide for you and your family and retire and hopefully move to a big house in Florida or some shit. But why the fuck would you want to do that? Why wouldn't you just fucking live life when you're actually mentally capable and have a decent definition of fun with no ties? Like, why would you want to save your good-time having for when you can barely walk, your genitals don't work anymore, and your definition of having a good time is like, drinking orange juice without shitting your pants. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Yes, I have a bit of an agenda today.

Secondly, a lot of people who have graduated have gotten big heads about everything. Like, fucking congrats, you're not in high school anymore, are you suddenly smarter? No? Then shut the fuck up, please. You're not any better than me.

Next I'd just like to talk about YouTube a little bit because it's something I'd just like to say whether or not anyone actually knows what I'm talking about. YouTube has been around for a while and we've all watched videos on it for a long time, but back in the day when YouTube was it's own company and not bought out by Google, it had a simple concept. There were featured videos on the front page every day and that was like the ultimate goal. Other than that you could just watch other things that people uploaded kind of like you can today. However, one fateful morning I remember seeing a video at the very top of the front page called something along the lines of "We Three Kings" or something like that. Something about being kings. And basically it was the creators of YouTube laughing their asses of because they just got like a billion dollars from Google for their website. They assured us nothing would change, and at first, nothing did. BUT NOW LOOK AT THIS SHIT. It's fucking product placement city. Thirty second ads to full blown movie trailers, ad bars all over the fucking sides, VEVO and the music industry, every company has their own YouTube channel and everything. While YouTube has grown to grow it's own community and I appreciate that it exists, I am definitely not happy with what Google has done to it. But I guess that's the direction that everything is headed towards with Internet slowly becoming the new TV.

Speaking of which, I'd also like to talk about why I blog and why I make such a big deal out of it as I do. I strongly believe that the Internet is where the world is headed. It's an amazing tool, and I really want to be a part of it, as shitty as it can be sometimes. I'd like to try my best at building up some sort of internet presence because that's what I really want to do and what I'm passionate about. At the very least, letting me vent on this blog has been really good for me and it'll get me through the times until something better can come along. Thanks for those of you who a frequent readers.

Eternally Yours,

-Marcus ♥

P.S. Desktop buddy still exists you awful people. Go like the facebook page and tell all your friends.

AMRMT - Day 40

Dear Mrs. Roberts, you are the biggest cunt on the face of the earth. Please die as soon as possible. The world would be a better place without you. You are old. You should have retired ages ago. Honestly, the fact that you have kids is a sure sign that the world is going down the shitter. The fact that somebody made love to you enough times to make multiple children assures me that the apocalypse is indeed this weekend. This just let's me know that if God really does exist, the world ends this weekend because the world is just so fucking awful because people like Mrs. Roberts exist. She must have been born at the very top of a tall tree for sticks to be shoved that far up your cunt AND ass. It's also apparent that you've hit your head on multiple things very hard. I wish I would have gotten held back a grade so I could have been in the year after you retired. Holy shit, fuck you. Please go crawl in a deep hole so we can all pelt you with severed dog penises until we get too tired, then we can just throw some gasoline in there and light a match, because that's honestly how you deserve to go, you huge piece of shit excuse for a person.

Also, everyone has her to thank for the shitty music thursday.

I secretly like parts of that song. Or a lot of it. Shhhhh...

Okay, so I can't actually find any music that I consider shitty because the internet is retarded. So I'm just going to post whatever after this and not talk about it. Okay maybe I'll talk about it.

This song has a cool music video.

Oh, nevermind, I found more screamo. I like this song.

Fuck you,

-Marcus ♥

P.S. I think school turns people into ass rats. People just get this mentality that all they wanna do is suck their superior's dick like they have to. I guess that's the point of school though. Mission fucking accomplished.

It's my Party - Day 39

And I'll cry if I fucking want to.

The mundacity of the grass is what feeds us, yet it is that same drizzling acceptance on the muzzle of gluttony that eventually causes us to wretch one last time and meet the earth that spat us up into existence.

I really wish people would realize that they fit people archetypes and change. Like, seriously, we don't need more of you.

I kind of hate everything right now. For one reason or another. I can't seem to keep myself content with anything at the moment.

Fuck my life.

Crying cause he wants to,

-Marcus ♥

Music Thursday/Memories - Day 38

Blogger was down yesterday so I couldn't do music Thursday so here's a couple songs. The first one is because I'm starting to get caught up in this Portal fever.

Now, I love Miranda Cosgrove. Probably more than any one person should. This is the feature song of her newest EP.

OH MY GOD I LOVE MIRANDA COSGROVE SO MUCH. GAAAHAHAHHAHAHHA

Anyway, today was the memories assembly. [sarcasm] I'm brimming with Central pride because of all the goings on. [/sarcasm] There are some seniors I'm going to miss, though. And it is kind of weird to be part of the class that's currently the oldest in the school. Buh, I've been at this school for 5 years now, and after next year that'll be six. THAT'S A LONG FUCKING TIME, SHIT.

Um, I just got back from going out and I forgot this was up so I'm just going to leave it at that, actually.

Always Forgetful,

-Marcus ♥

Desktop Buddy - Day 37

I'm starting an internet campaign for the desktop buddy that I've created. I originally just had it on Sam's computer but now I think it should be on everyone's. The idea behind the desktop buddy is that whenever you're feeling down, or sometimes when you're not, you can bring up the desktop buddy and hopefully it'll make you feel better. Here he is!

Save him to your desktop as 'buddy' and he'll always be there for you. Go like it on facebook too.

Your Buddy,

-Marcus ♥

FMT - Day 36

I'm starting a new thing. This should help me update at least semi-consistently. I call it music Thursday. I'm pretty decent at music suggestions for the most part so I'm just gonna post two or three songs that I like here and maybe talk about them a little bit. This week I've been listening to a lot of dubstep/electronica, so here's this song that I really like.

This song is super relaxing in my opinion. It's really chill, I like it a lot. It's especially nice just to have in the background because it's not distracting, so you can do things and listen to this song.

Ah, I love this song. It brings me back to middle school. Truly an anthem for men everywhere.

I love the Beastie Boys. They make me feel so cool. And this music video makes me happy.

That's all I got today. I'll try and update this a tad more frequently since I have my lappy. Thanks for all the support guys.

Wishes he was a beastie boy,

-Marcus ♥

Day 35 - DEAF PEOPLE, LISTEN

Next time you listen to a song where the singer is addressing someone, see if you fit the description of the target you fucks.

Bork,

-Marcus ♥

Day 34 - Bork Bork Bork

Suck - Day 33

I haven't posted in forever. The reason for this is that, once again, I do not have consistent access to a computer because I just moved to my dad's house. I should be receiving a laptop here in a week or two, and then I can get back to it. For all 2 of you who care, I got 3rd at states, which wins me a medal that I'll be getting like a month and a half from now :\

The only thing I really have on my mind right now is that I would like to establish this social norm. Some of you may have noticed that when I go to the bathroom I usually turn on the fan sucky thingy. This is mostly because it makes me uncomfortable when people listen to me go to the bathroom. Secondly, it's a secondary cue as to whether or not someone is in the bathroom, so that way you have extra protection of your privacy should you forget to lock the door or something. So I personally think everyone should do this, mostly because then I would feel less weird doing it, also because I would like to say that I started a social standard and revolutionized the world of house bathrooms.

Um, yeah. That's all.

With the sucky thing on,

Marcus ♥

Redemption Pt. 1 - Day 32

I'm going to Kansas City for Pokemon TCG states this weekend, so fuck you guys. Also I'm moving into my dad's on Sunday. Have a nice weekend, fuckers.

Fuckers,

Marcus ♥

Is it over yet? - Day 31

I want this year to be over. I'm done with classes where I have to do shit. Not that I do any of that shit, but it's nice to not have to do that shit when I'm not doing it. Next year's schedule is going to consist primarily of P.E. it seems. And Health. Good times will be had by all. And not Marcus.

This library. Holy shit, I just realized there's a fucking phone in front of me. Like an iPhone. Someone left it here. Sucks to be them.

inb4 awkward moment when they come looking for their phone and read my blog.

I'm so bad at typing.

I'm not the biggest fan of the library but it's whatever. My internet is working now my mom just needs to get her god damn account re-setup. Fuck my mom. She doesn't even listen to the words I say because she has no communication skills. And my dad won't text me back so I have no idea when I'm moving over there. Hopefully soon. And I want a laptop. And the forty bucks he owes me and that I now owe my brother.

I haaaate everything. Especially IAs. Especially when you have to turn them in to subpar teachers that don't get your emails because their too busy dicking around with being mean.

Whatever, I don't have much else to say for now. If you're reading this and you don't have an account to follow me with you should do that so I get an ego boost and don't kill myself because at this rate I probably will.

-Marcus ♥

Bored All the Time - Day 30

I have no internet. I will have no internet until Wednesday. I am at the library. Kill me now.

Also: Day 30. Yayyyyy.

Wishes he was playing Pokemon,
Marcus ♥

aleaffalls - Day 29

I feel like the world is falling to shit around me and I'm by myself in everything. What the fuck is going on?

You Suck - Day 28

I'm sick and tired of self-centered people. Like, really really sick of it. People who are just absolutely so ignorant that they don't understand that there's more to life outside themselves, and the worst part is 90% of the time they're too stupid to realize it. Like, what the fuck are they thinking. Maybe this thing isn't about you, or maybe we don't care what that situation would be like in your context. Maybe we just really don't give half a shit about what you think or have to say. Maybe you have no value. Maybe you're dumb. Sure, people tell you when you're young that you should love yourself so that others can love you, but that doesn't mean make yourself the center of the god damn spectrum and when something becomes out of line with your fucking shitty ass spectrum you try and correct it or punish it. Like, fuck you. Fuck you a lot.

Speaking of things I hate, number 2 on the list for today. Posting dubstep songs on facebook. Like, what the fuck, dubstep isn't underground anymore. It's peaking into the mainstream, especially here at central, and you're not cool because you posted a pop-dubstep song. And you're not cool because you linked one in reply, and you're not cool because you posted "I've heard this before and it is okay." I don't have a problem with dubstep, in fact, 75% of what I listen to right now is dubstep, but I just really don't like when people flaunt dubstep around like the ability to like dubstep is a skill or you're unique because of it. Fuck you. I don't give a fuck if you listen to Borgore or Datsik. It doesn't make you special. We've already heard it before, so you don't need to link it to your god damn wall.

ALSO, SPEAKING OF THINGS I HATE ABOUT MUSIC

I hate when people don't realize the simplicity of pop songs, but not even like, the really generic ones. The one I'm thinking of specifically is "Born This Way". I don't necessarily dislike the song, but I don't like how everyone thinks it's so unique because Lady Gaga is so different and creepy and the song doesn't have a black male in it. It's still a fucking generic-ass pop song. Apparently all it takes to get number 1 nowadays is a generic universal message and a beat that doesn't sound EXACTLY like another beat, which means borrowing from another non-pop genre. coughbritneyspearscoughholditagainstmecough.

NEXT ON THE AGENDA, STUPID PEOPLE AT CENTRAL

The first thing you're saying (or rather, thinking) is probably "Marcus, you always talk about stupid people!" But I'm getting specific with this one. And this one is probably a universal hate. People who stand in the hallway right where people are supposed to be walking. Are people just that unaware nowadays that they don't even know what the fuck is happening right next to them? The fact that they are causing a hundred people to funnel into a tiny opening next to them because they don't know where to fucking stand? What a bunch of fucking useless shits. They could die and nobody would give a fuck. In fact I'm sure they have more people rooting for a knife to the face or a stray meteor to smite them all at once. But seriously, you can think of the hallways as a fucking road. Stay to the right. Nobody ever fucking does that though. They all just dick around in circles because they don't have the brain capacity to know what the fuck is going on outside of their little shitbubble. You don't see cars stop in the middle of the road and just fucking sit there. Which brings me onward, I'd also like to point out the people who park in non-spaces. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? Firstly, it's not legal, it's not like people are going to let you get by with that because there's no more spots or WHYEVER the fuck you do it. Secondly, YOU ARE MAKING ALL OF US HAVE TO DRIVE AROUND YOU BECAUSE YOU PARKED IN THE GOD DAMN STREET. Fuck you. If I had another car in reserve, I'd fucking smash mine into yours simply because I'd win that lawsuit because you parked in the fucking street, dumbass. Go die and make the human race that much purer please.

Man, I've got a lot to fucking talk about today.

Next up is why trolling is stupid. Trolling is funny. Sometimes. But when people decide that trolling is easier than wit (memes often create this complex) but if you are literally always trolling, what's the difference between that and being actually stupid? There isn't one, because you are stupid.

On a related note, I hate how society rewards copy/pasters. Those who can express themselves using what others have created is the best option, and being a creator poses little to no reward. Example 1: People who read debate cards are smart. Why do people think debaters are automatically smart? All they do is read from pieces of paper. They don't actually know what they fuck they're talking about like 90% of the time. But people like to go "Oh, big words, must be a smart guy". Also memes. Who do people think is funny? People who can constantly spout memes or quote TV shows at the right times. Why? Why are they funny because of that? They didn't actually do anything except allow themselves to be the vessel for the already existent joke that was present because it's a fucking meme. I think it's just because people feel like everyone has to have a skill, and so they've created these facets so that they have something to be the best at, and everyone accepts it because they're dumb as fuck.

I also hate two-faced people. They think nobody will notice, because most people don't, but I do. Fuck you.

I guess that's all for today. What the fuck is going on. People just decided they would all shit their brains out a couple weeks ago, I guess.

Surrounded by dumbfucks,

Marcus ♥

Miranda Cosgrove - Day 27

I LOVE MIRANDA COSGROVE. LOVE. Oh my god. Love. I'm watching an interview of her and my heart is beating so fast that it's starting to pump cum into my blood stream. Oh my god. ohmigawdohmigawdohmigawd. OH MY GOD. I WANT TO MEET HER. I love her. So much.

Also this.

ohmigawd. yes.

So, I haven't actually written this thing in a fucking year and a half, and some things are a bit different. Firstly, it's pretty official that I'm moving to my dad's house. Which is good in the sense that I won't ever have to see my mom again, and as far as living arrangements goes, I'll pretty much just have my own apartment in the basement and I won't really be bothered by anyone. Which is sweet as shit. Thing two: I'm going to finally get my laptop soon. I hope. My dad's getting some money soon and that's on his priority list somewhere.

Thing three: I obtained Starcraft 2. So expect me to be less productive in everything I do.

Um, what else can I talk about. I kinda want to visit California. Really bad. It seems so chill there. I don't care if everyone thinks it's full of fake dumb people, because it is. But I wanna go there and just sleep and meet famous people. All day. AND MIRANDA FUCKING COSGROVE.

Um, what else happened? The cultural diversity assembly? I'm pretty sure at this point everyone knows it's a fucking joke. Black people go "Hey, I'm black, and I'm awesome because of it." But that's completely counter-productive to integration. The ideal is to have all races integrated and have it not be a big deal, well, if you keep making a big deal out of your own race and differentiate yourself because of it, then nothing is ever going to happen. Also, I like thinking of the opposite of a black pride assembly, and that would be a white pride assembly. So there's that double standard right thur.

OH SHIT SOMEONE GIVE ME TWENTY DOLLARS TO BE AN ADORABLE HAT. I need one of those anime hats with ears. Or an adventure time hat. Seriously. I love Adventure Time. I saw that for the first time this past weekend and I fell in love. That shit is so good. And it makes me want a hat. With ears. Must have ear hat.

Someone buy me an ear hat.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/HyenaHats?ref=pr_shop

Namely that bottom left one.

So, you know what I don't like? How adults always demand respect. Like living was justification for respect. Age is not the same as intelligence. I can be smarter than you without being as old as you. There's like a threshold. If there's a genius who is 17, he's just a smart ass kid, but if there's a genius who is 21, he's way smarter than you could ever imagine. My point is, fuck adults. Their the maaaaaaaan. Fuck the man. Also I think I spelled some words wrong which makes me feel dumb but that's okay because fuck you.

Oh, also, new Ke$ha song. nbd.

Miranda Cosgrove is better. Fuck I need to play Pokemon. Both the new DS games and the card game.

Anyway, I'm done for today.

Inevitably,

Miranda Cosgrove

I mean Marcus. ♥

Life - Day 26

Sometimes life shoves a giant ass fiery dildo with spikes and shit on it up your ass hole. And other times it only uses a dildo with sandpaper. But that's only on the off chance that life got wasted last night making fun of how fucking miserable you are and it's a little hungover so it's not in the mood to get the gasoline and matches. It's times like this that I think there must be a God because he's fucking trolling me with the fact that I don't believe in him so he's like "trolol fuck you Marcus nothing is going to work for you foreverrrrrr"

-I'm going to choke a bunny

Marcus

Jellicent - Day 25

Shit it's been a while since I've written this thing. Well, here I am guys, I'm not dead! As you guys may know I was at the assembly and I was in it as opposed to watching it so I'm not really going to judge. And I'm really glad that it didn't kill me.

Also Loyalty kind of sucked because nobody was there, but as far as the dance itself goes, it was real good.

Also I took a bunch of tests today and they sucked and I did poorly.

Also Sam lost the election, which made me sadface because it was by one vote. I've had some things to say about that but at this point I don't really care as much.

I'm so tired all the time. Fuck thinking man.

I'm starting to notice that I have somewhat of a following in my quest to become dance commissioner, and I really like that. If you want you guys can go tell Lillian that you really want me as dance commissioner and that would be cool because then I have a better chance and stuff.

Ugh, I'm so tired all the time, all I have energy for is playing Pokemon, so that is what I will do. Hit me up, guys.

Sleepy,

Marcus ♥

Reversal - Day 24

You guys are awesome. I started to doubt my community for a minute there, but you guys are cool as fuck. Me and Sam won Loyalty court. I feel like I have so much power because of this bloggy thing now. You guys really are awesome, and I guess this is kinda like that project thing that I talked about a while ago. Major props to you guys.

Anyway, we've had another snow day today and I'm not sure what I think about it. On one hand it screwed me over because I have yet to get my teacher recommendations in because every day I plan on giving them to teachers it fucking snows. Also, most of what I did today was just sleep and read. Which is weird because that's not normally what I do. But anyway it was kind of nice.

Also, I need to buy some shoes for the Loyalty assembly, but I don't have a way to go buy them, and so I think I'm just going to wear my converse again. People love the converse anyway. Teachers don't, but the ladies do. And when it all comes down to it, you guys know who I'm trying to impress more ;]

I'm kind of nervous for this assembly and stuff. So if I pee my pants or die or something that's why and you shouldn't laugh at me. Until I get to my jokes. Then laugh. I feel like I should get a trophy. Or at least give an acceptance speech. Oh man, that would be the best speech ever.

"I'd like to thank you guys for putting me in the awesome position."

so far so generic, give them a compliment or something!

"You guys are fucking cool."

DID YOU JUST SAY THEY'RE FUCKING COOL? Just move on, maybe nobody noticed.

"AAaaaaand, I really like this trophy."

Wait, there's not a trophy, that was a fantasy I wrote about. shitshitshitshit, just cut your losses!

"Um, yeah, that's about it. Bye."

Okay, so maybe not the best speech. But still inspiring.

Ugh, I need to wake up so early tomorrow morning. SO EARLY. I'm going to be so grumpy by the time the game rolls around. AND I'M GOING TO HAVE TO WEAR A TIE. I don't even know how to tie a tie! I think it's still tied from the last debate thing though. And it shall remain that way until forever. I also have a ballin' Harry Potter costume. It's my brothers. It has a Hedwig. Yesssssssss.

I can't really think of anything else to leave you guys with. I'm mostly just sleep and scared right now. Love you guys bunches though.

Climbing the stairs,

Marcus ♥

It's Wet - Day 23

Hey everyone. It's been a while, hasn't it? The reason for my hiatus is because over the snowpocalypse I was with Sam and I just never feel like writing whenever I'm around people. I guess it's because I use this as an outlet to rant and I can just rant to people next to me if I get that opportunity.

Speaking of the snowpocalypse, it's caused me some distress. Having to feed people in the middle of a blizzard isn't the best thing ever. And getting places sucked with all the snow. My tiny car can only get so far D:

While Sam was over at my house a pipe broke. And water started pouring out of my wall. It was scary as shit. I eventually figured out how to turn the water off, and after some cleaning I migrated to Sam's house for the remainder of my mom's vacation. So basically I was with Sam all break. I'm going to refer to it as a break because it basically was.

I feel like I had a million and one things I wanted to talk about and I just forgot about all of them. Oh well, that's okay. I'm sure I'll remember them soon-ish.

One thing I did kinda want to talk about was the super bowl. The game was good, but over in the first half. The half time show sucked a lot, but I didn't really have any expectations because the Black Eyed Peas are shit live. They make okay songs, especially their old stuff. Like Where is the Love? That shit's awesome.

But anyway, I have a couple favors to ask you guys. The first one is a little bit easier. I'm on Loyalty nominations and tomorrow is secondary voting. If you guys think that I should win, then if you could vote for me that'd be great :]

The second favor I have to ask is that I want to get a domain name. The price depends on how much I want to buy at a time, but it looks like if I want my domain name for a month or so I'm going to need 20-30 dollars if we really want that to happen.

Ugh, it really bothers me that I can't remember what I wanted to talk about because now I feel like I'm being a bad blogger because I haven't updated in a year and now I update with a 2 second blog post. Oh well. I'll try and get to you guys tomorrow.

Your King,

Marcus ♥

Party Time - Day 22

I'll go ahead and start off today's blog by apologizing for the lack of updates over the week. I wasn't at home a lot of the time or I just didn't have anything good to write about.

I'll go ahead and start this blog off by discussing the presidential debate-esque thing that happened on Thursday. The audience is only IB kids, firstly. And this made me realize something. That was the only population that really cared. Everyone else just votes because a piece of paper gets shoved in their face and all they really have to do is circle a name. Anyway, the questions are generic and so are the answers. Alysia informs us that she is, in fact, approachable. SO APPROACHABLE. MAYBE EVEN UNCOMFORTABLY APPROACHABLE. She may even approach you.

And not only was that her only answer for every question, Lillian and Cassie followed suit. Lillian basically had her generically oriented period on the discussion, and Cassie had the exact speech that I thought she would. "I put a microwave in the cafeteria and I'm completely oblivious as to what StuBo president actually does."

Moving backwards a little bit, I'd just like to point out that approachability is a non-issue nowadays because of the following reasons: 1. In order to run for StuBo president you obviously have some amount of approachability in the first place, 2. approachability is easy in the age of facebook, where contacting someone is a click and some button pusheys away.

Moving onwards into the future, I was also disappointed with the way they shot down a lot of the jokier questions. Diplomatically, you should give those kinds of questions as good of an answer you can or use your wit to joke them back, being your should-be-charismatic self. But instead what generally happened is that when Sam stood up to talk, the rest of everyone decided to ignore it. What the fuck is that? A leader is supposed to listen to the people they lead, not be an ass about it. God dammit, you can't just go "Oh, no, you're dumb." BECAUSE THAT PERSON IS WHO IS VOTING YOU GIANT DUMB FUCK.

I appreciate Sam for being the only candidate with half a brain and the ability to be aware of situations and control them accordingly. I also expect the most good and the most change from Sam. Alysia and Cassie are sheep and will follow what the other cabinet members tell them, and Lillian will keep things exactly the way they are now, except more annoyingly?

SAMMY WILL PUT HIS HAMMY IN YOUR FANNY

I also encourage you guys to pick up professionally made shirts from Sam as opposed to the shitty spray paint PoSs that Lillian made.

Moving on, I'd like to maybe talk about debate, seeing as that's where I was this weekend. I was judging, and it was awesome. I didn't really get to talk to people as much as I would have liked to, but that's okay. Good times were had by all nonetheless.

Hm, I guess that's all I had to say. That sucks.

Oh, I know what I want to talk about. I got nominated for Loyalty Court. Which is kinda cool. Anyway, I don't expect to win seeing as the trend is coughblackpeoplecough, but getting close wouldn't be bad. I'm an attention whore and so seeing my name somewhere is kinda cool. So go ahead and vote for me if you love me :D

I can't really think of anything else I want to talk about right now, so I'll try and hit you guys up later this week. My mom left for vacation on Friday so I'll be roaming the town this week, most likely.

With like-like,

Marcus ♥

Headaches - Day 21

As the title suggests, I have a headache. Today I've eaten cereal, bananas, grillquitos, and pizza. I'm tired. I want things to work.

My mom is leaving on Friday and my brother might be a butt and stay home. Which not only means I don't get the house to myself like I wanted, but I have to get him fucking dinner and breakfast and shit.

I've been watching YouTube videos all day. And it makes me realize my sad work ethic.

I can't think of anything else to say except I wish I had a giant internet following.

Sleepy,

Marcus ♥

PART 2 (8:55 PM)

YYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYYAyayayayyayayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyAYAYYAYAYA

AYAYAYYAY

yes

yay

fuck

yay

-Marcus (heart)

wait thats not how i do it

oh well

-marcus (herp)

Ounces - Day 20

YAY! :D

We've reached the big 2-0, people. I'd like to start off by thanking you guys for all the support I've gotten with this bloggy thing. Makes me feel like someone cares sometimes.

Anyway, sorry about the lack of updates as of late, as you may or may not know, I was in Carthage for debate this past weekend. For those of you curious I went 3-1 and missed cut because I had two opponents who went 0-4. Which sucks because debate tournament structure is fucked up and it should be more like Pokemon tournament structure because that makes an infinite more amount of sense.

I also didn't have to do an oratory because Mr. Tuckness sucks at managing things and so ten or so people ended up being out of an IE. I'm not gonna lie, the first time I wrote that last sentence I wrote "sucks at mangina" and I'm not really sure what that says about me and my subconscious.

Lately I've been trying to focus things on individual days. I'm going to try and do some stuff that will hopefully make my day go better. Firstly, though, I'd like to explain my rationale for this kind of thinking. Many successful people have the same mentality that I've kind of discussed a little bit before, and that's about positive thinking and how the universe will line up with what you want if you constantly surround yourself with this thing. I was listening to some inspirational Will Smith (as I frequently do), and he has this same mentality. He did add one interesting thing that I like, however. He explains how you shouldn't go out and say "I'm going to build a wall, and it's going to be the greatest wall ever." which is what many people do. He says you should go out, lay a brick and try and lay that brick as perfect as possible. And eventually, you will have your wall, and it will be better than it could have ever been. This kind of leads me to want to follow a more day-to-day kind of lifestyle because it makes each day feel like it matters. The first idea I have off the top of my head is to make a goal each and every day. Just one goal, and not a big one either. Maybe something general, maybe something more specific. But I feel like this kind of a thing will help make days a little more accomplished feeling.

Anyway, I'm feeling social recently, moreso than usual, and so you guys shouldn't be afraid to hit me up wherever you may see me.

That's all I really wanted to say tonight, I'll get back to you guys in a little bit though, so don't worry :]

Buddy Buddy,

Marcus ♥

Pokemon - Day 19

Snow days make me happy. I've been really happy today. I don't know why.

I still have no idea about anything as far as oratory goes, so I hope we don't have school tomorrow.

I don't really have a lot to talk about because today I'm content and lazy, so I'm gonna leave you guys some Pokemon pictures that make me laugh or happy.

Substance Pt. 2 - Day 18

Hey guys. Sorry I've been updating this non-consistently, but I've been not in the mood. I butchered that sentence but that's okay.

Today was my first day with my new schedule and boy, will my Tuesdays and Thursdays be filled with some excitement.

Math is the same, but now I have English and man is my class stupid. Before I was like "lolwut huckleberry finn" and everyone else was like "Jim and Huck are blah blah blah" and then I would make a comment on the underlying homoerotic theme of the book. But now when I'm like "what happened in the book?" people are like "lolwutbook".

Oh well, there are plenty of people to make fun of in that class. I'll lose some brain cells along the way though.

And then I had debate. So it was like, double the sleep.

Then I had Lib and Law. With the greatest group of people I could imagine. Also Mr. Shoemaker has a chin hole. It's just like a crater in his chin where all the stuff gathers. But that's okay, I don't judge that much. Lib and Law, more like, Lub without Flaw.

Yes, that was the best I could come up with.

Oh god, I'm going to debate this weekend and I need an Oratory. Something that I can just rant about for 8-10 mintues. Give me topic ideas! Anyone and everyone!

Also, I love Parli, because it's literally a debate you can do with no prep and just google it five minutes before and just win because the topics can get really one sided.

I might do my oratory on life graphs. Like how you can measure what you do with your life at the end of it and see if it was distributed like you wanted it. I made a pencil metaphor and everything. Well, the pencil metaphor is just that when a pencil is all spent up you can look at how you spent the lead. But sometimes things happen and you lose the pencil before it gets the chance to get used up. So don't use the pencil for stupid things because you may not have it for much longer.

Oh pencil, you so crazy.

/sigh

Obviously there are still people in this world who don't understand substance. And that's fine. They're going to go through their lives doing thing without substance and being completely fine muddling through things like a million others have before them. They're never going to do anything worth doing and eventually they'll die knowing they didn't do much, but they'll have some philosophy they saw in a movie and let it comfort them.

And as sad as that is, I don't give a fuck. People can do whatever they damn well please with their existence here on Earth. If they believe they're going somewhere else when they die and so they don't have to do shit here, that's fine. Let them do their nothing. But don't expect me to acknowledge your shit as something, and you better sure as damn hell fuck cunt bitch tits not expect me to conform to your way of life. I'm fine being me, and I'm gonna try and do shit. If you think I don't understand you, then that's a damn lie. I get it, you're lazy and never wanna do anything with your life, that's great. I get it. I don't want any part of it except telling you you're wrong. And don't get mad at me when suddenly your narrow minded viewpoint gets challenged and you might have to consider a new way of looking at things.

Gah, people make me angry sometimes. But I guess angry Marcus and good-writing Marcus are the same person a lot of the time.

Anyway, I'm gonna head off to bed here soon. Good night, Moon.

Oh, also, someone remind me tomorrow to talk about how girls are the most illogical race on the planet.

Your favorite ranter,

Marcus ♥

Bleh - Day 17

I've been at Sam's house for a year or so. So I don't have a lot to talk about. Also, T-shirts probably aren't going to happen because I'm lazy and nobody wants them. So fuck you guysssssssss.

I'm tired and not in the mood to rant because nobody listens.

Maybe I need to make this non-daily because then people will actually read it or something.

Into the Future,

Marcus ♥

The Holo Magikarp - Day 16

So you'll never guess what happened today. I went to Professor Oak and the first thing he says is "Are you a boy or a girl?" And I'm like "wtf, I'm a guy" and he's like "Oh yes, of course. What's my grandson's name?" And I'm like "idk, bro he's your poophead grandson" and he's like "Ah yes, his name is POOPHEAD" and I'm like "No need to yell, man."

Anyway, I picked Charmander and Poophead picked a Squirtle because he's a fucking dick.

Sometimes being a Pokemon trainer is hard. But it's okay, because I have this blog to keep me in the game, y'know?

Anyway, I need to go to that Pewter City Gym thing now, so I'll seeya guys later.

Pokemon Trainer,

Marcus ♥

Day 15 - Day 15

I hate this. I hate it I hate it I hate it. Today sucks. Tomorrow will suck. Yesterday sucked. All days suck. Nights too. Things always suck, sometimes they suck less than others. I live in a world where my skills are not appreciated. I hate everyone because they hate me. Something about beds make them inviting. When people get sad they want to stay in bed and sleep. Sleep is like death that you come out of.

I'm a terrible person. People like me shouldn't exist. I wish I was stupid. I wish I was stupid and happy like everyone else. Content with what life was and is and always will be. I wish I could just hit my head on a wall repeatedly until I was dumb enough to be content with everything like an animal or something.

Nobody gets their shit together until a third of their life is over, and sometimes not even then. Why does it take so long? Why can nobody put anything into perspective right now? Life is short and wasting it is a real shame. If we're not living in the now then what are we living in? We have to pursue what we love in life or else we might not do anything with life at all. I'm not gonna sit around and wait for life to hand me what I want. But life won't let me have what I want. So what the fuck am I supposed to do? I guess I'm just done, then.

Things don't work out for people like me. I got the short end of the stick, I feel. Maybe sometimes we all get the short end. But I got the short end because I'm not happy when I get the short end. When things don't go my way, I don't try and act like they did. I realize how life works and how when it's over I'm going to have to look back and see whether or not it was worth it all.

Of course I know everything, I'm fucking Marcus. Why wouldn't I know everything? I've got a fancypants blog that I had to make to get some fucking attention because that's all I really want from life. I just want someone somewhere to acknowledge me for a second because without other people I'm nothing. I'm like a fucking parasite. What kind of a shitty ass organism isn't even self sufficient. I'll tell you what kind, the kind named Marcus Mayhew.

All I thought I wanted from life was to find that one person. That was my goal. Just one. And I guess I still have to look. I guess I've gotta waste my fucking time. I'm gonna spend all fucking day looking around for this piece of shit that everyone else got before me.

I remember one Easter my grandparents thought it would be good to take me to a park where they were doing a public easter egg hunt. I was excited, I had a trash bag to put the eggs in, and I was determined to get one. It started. I remember one after the other, every time I saw an egg, someone took it from under me. I gave up. I started crying. My grandparents felt bad, and some grown ups came and helped me find some that had been left over. And they gave me some they saved, anticipating the sad sack kid, I guess. I realize now that I made my grandparents sad a lot because I was a fucking brat. And now my grandma is dead. I can't ever go back and tell her that even though I was only five when she died, I appreciated what she did for me. And I'll never forget that night we were playing checkers and we tied in only a few turns and I didn't understand how that was possible, or that time I got bit by her dog because I decided to walk around the tree it was tied too, and she gave me an ice pack. I can't tell her that because she's gone. Life is short. We only get to do so much. And sometimes it sucks to think that maybe things won't work out the way we want them to. It sucks a lot.

Maybe one day I'll get to tell my grandma how much I actually loved her. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll find that person who I've been looking for all my life, and maybe I won't. I guess we'll find out somewhere in the next ten years.

Marcus

Snow - Day 14

THERE IS WHITE STUFF ON THE GROUND ALL OVER EVERYWHERE OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

It's cold and I'm kinda grumpy cuz the snow. It makes driving hard. And school shouldn't be a thing on days like that but it was. Whyyyyyyyyyy. WHY? Also, I dropped my phone in the snow. It's still functional, but it was wet and dirty for a while. I made your mom wet and dirty for a while. Okay, that was bad.

I want it to be Thursday so I can play some Pokemon. And then not worry about school the next day. Yayayayayayaya.

I just realized you can tell a lot based on my desktop.

I like that wallpaper. It makes my desktop feel like some awesome rave thing or summat.

Oh, by the way, I made a new friend. His name is happybox.

This is happybox at the club.

Aw, happybox just got rejected. Now he's a sadbox.

Cheer up box guy, you'll make it some day.

I kind of want to grow my hair out a little bit before I cut it. Long hair is ballin'.

Maybe I should try emo hair. Like that thing where you've got the long piece over your eye. Makes me feel like a villain or something, man. MAN. WOMAN. WHATEVER GENDER YOU ARE PERSON WHO IS READING MY THOUGHTS FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE BECAUSE I ASSUME YOU ARE READING THIS THE NEXT DAY BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T USUALLY READ THIS THING AS SOON AS IT COMES OUT.

Sorry guys, I'm a little moody tonight. I'll get better over the weekend.

I need to learn how to give massages now. Seeya laterrrrrr.

Wishes he was a robot sometimes,

Marcus ♥

Zombie Love - Day 13

Hay gurl. You're lookin' real good.

I'm gonna start off by showing you guys two of my favorite comedian videos on YouTube.

This first one I like because of the last guy.

And this one I like because of buffet guy. And the last guy.

Anyway, someone in my Computer Apps class said they didn't like dubstep because it all sounded the same. Well or course it all sounds the same, it's a fucking genre of music. If it sounded like something else then it wouldn't be fucking dubstep. What's the kid expecting, dubstep with acoustic guitar and an accordion?

Also Norm Ridder came into that same class and the first thing he says to Mrs. Ryan is "Yeah, I ran into some kids playing Monopoly in the next room over." And she made up this bull shit excuse that they were in her accounting class and were practicing for a final. Made me lol.

I thought I was done showing you guys videos but I refound this and I love it.

I'm cold.

So I'm changing my schedule. I'm excited. Less IB classes. Yayyyyyy. I have Lib and Law, Personal Finance, AND Debate. Yes. Victory thy name is already being to graduate.

I kinda want the t-shirt design to be "Zombie Love" With a man zombie and a lady zombie. Let me know what you think.

Thanks for all the support you guys have given me. It really motivates me to write this poopery and make me real happy and stuff.

Your zombie,

Marcus ♥

Oh dear - Day 12

Well, I just got back from Mountain Grove, probably the finest city in America. I mostly love it because on the way there they have a KFC/Taco Bell. That's right, both of 'em! As soon as we got there our party learned that the toilets had been destroyed, something we probably should have anticipated. But yeah, as cool as it is, there's not any special combo items and I want them to exist. Like double downs with beef. Oh my god. Also they had a KFC buffet with a senior discount. And this fat lady got a drum stick and a plate of pudding. It made me happy. Puddin' stick. That should be a thing.

I love going on Pokemon tournaments. It's the best hobby in the world. I've gotten to travel to places that I would have otherwise never gone to, and with a really great group of people too. I've met lots of new people and done a lot of great things. Pokemon has also arguably given me one of my greatest achievements, which was getting 2nd place at States. (Should have been first, but I don't want to talk about that D:)

I also would have gone to Cracker Barrel significantly less.

I want to write a song that is mostly bass. I don't see why it hasn't been done, or if it has been done, why have I not heard it? Maybe it would be too powerful. I would just cum everywhere and die. And then when they find my body they'd be like "Woah man, that guy is dead AND covered in semen." Then they would pick up my album and also die. Then eventually everyone in the world would be dead and covered in semen from their own bodies and probably other people's bodies. Now you may be saying "Marcus, girls don't make semen." And I would like to say to that... yes, yes they don't.

I feel like writing a half novel half movie zombie movie/book scene. The main character's name will be Hero, for the sake of a place holder.

Hero approached the zombies warily. One began to jog over to him. (Zombies jog in my zombie universe. They're like animals, but their legs are fucked up so they can't run.)

(The zombie looks like a more living-like zombie and not one of those grey moldy ones)

Hero has never actually killed a zombie before, and so performing this task is somewhat daunting. He knew full well that zombies were hardly considered living anymore, but the act would feel the same. He decided the best approach would be to attack before he could give himself a chance to hesitate.

(Hero swings a machete wildly at the zombie's throat. He only manages to get the machete half way through, and after some struggle with the panicked zombie, he starts to stagger backwards.)

The zombie spewed blood throughout the nearby area and eventually fell to the ground clawing at the weapon lodged in it. Hero, tears in his eyes, smashed a hammer into the zombie's head. The crunch of the skull was more than he had expected. He dropped the hammer after the zombie laid still, and took a few deep breaths.

That didn't come out as well as I had planned but that's okay, because now you all have the imagery of redead zombies in your head.

Also, this is a tiny cute version of what I pictured that zombie to look like.

Now here's that same zombie with a bow for maximum cuteness.

How adorable! And he already looks a bit like Hitler, so we might as well finish that off.

Baw. It's pictures like these that truly make life special.

Anyway, I'll see you guys tomorrow.

Your muhhhhhhhh (that's zombie for freind),

Marcus ♥

Myoozik - Day 11

I wanna love you, you already know, I wanna love you.

Hay gurlz and doodz. Recently I've been experimenting with some stuff and I think I want to bust into the female pop star scene. I've got the moves and the hip action, the slightly feminine ticks, and I've definitely got the voice. Also I'd be a lesbian so that way I can still get with Selena Gomez.

Oh my god, I've said so many things today. Like way more than a person should say in a day. I'm starting to think that I legitimately don't need anything to get high, I can just do it myself by being my sexy self. Y'know? It's like, woah man, that light is floating next to that sign. That didn't really make sense but that's fine.

Singing is, in my opinion, the best natural talent you can have. Because serenading the ladies becomes less of a chore when you can sing the most romantic of ballads to them. Which is why I feel blessed every day I sing to the birds and they sing back. I'm serious, it's friggin great.

I also want to learn how to play the steel drums. Someone buy me some.

ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod

ionlyhaveanhourlefttofinishthisfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Euphoria is a cool word. I was in the euphoria of it all. etc etc. There's no point to this I just think it's a friggin cool word.

I've started to have a desire to want to hit on every attractive girl I see, and I may start doing that. Or hit up the clubs. Or both. Hey ladies at the club, I see you dancing. Maybe you'd like to come dance with me on this side of the dance floor. Or you can just keep doing your thing. That's cool too. I'll go cry now.

On second thought, that's not the best idea.

Writing these things at night doesn't work as well. I need to be able to write these from my phone some how. Poooooooop.

I'll try and write tomorrow's in the morning to make up for this shitty one.

I need more people to text, throw me one. 417-268-0929.

Or prank call me, that'll make me feel just as loved, I'm sure.

I need a dancey song so I can dance,

Marcus ♥

Da Hollah Korp - Day 10

Hi guyssssssssssss :D

I'd like to start today's carp by telling you something that kind of inspired me today. In Biology this morning I was looking at Mr. Friesen's fish tanks and I saw this one little white fish swimming in a panicked fashion at the glass. He didn't stop either, he just kept going because he was going insane trying to get out of his tank. And then I looked at all the other fish and they're just drifting along like dumb asses and not doing anything at all.

This kind of made me think a little bit. What a beautiful gift self awareness is, that we are able to look at our own selves and change what we do and decide how we want to spend our time. Animals can't do that for the most part, they just do what it takes to live and they move on.

Anyway, I felt for this little fish and I wanted him to accomplish his little fishy goal because knowing the track record of Mr. Friesen fish I knew he didn't have much longer. So I reached my hand into the tank and grabbed him by the tail. I turned around and nobody seemed to notice what I had done, so I turned back to the tank and pulled the fish out. I threw it out the window. Now he was free. The fish was able to go out into the big world and do what he pleased whenever he pleased! After I threw him out the window he grew wings, of course. Have you ever thrown a fish out a window? Well I have and that's what happens. He turned around in the air and said

And he said that in a deep mystical creature voice. Like Aslan's. After that he told me I could have anything I wanted, and you know what I asked for? A ride on his fucking back. And he did it.

And yes that picture if completely legit. I had one of the dumbass fish take the picture with my magic camera that pictures text on a black and white filter. Don't judge me because I talk in Comic Sans.

My point in all this is that if we're playing that game where you tell people what you haven't done and if they've done it they lose which doesn't make sense because people who have done more should be rewarded, then I'll win because I'll be all like "I've never NOT ridden on a fucking majestic-ass fish with wings that I saved from a life of drudgery." I don't know if I used the word drudgery right in that sentence. Just pretend I used the word poopery. Which is a Marcus official word, by the way.

I'm trying to decide how to react to the animals dying everywhere. I'm hoping that it's God replacing all the animals with Pokemon. Because that would be awesome. I would change my last name to Oak and name my child Professor. And then make him name my grandson Gary. Fuck yes. Also, I hope this is a good enough excuse to let my mom know I don't like eating fish.

I keep doing this thing where I half yawn a lot. I have no idea why it's happening. Maybe I'm only half tired.

I want to try some kind of project. Like, using this blog thingamabob. Maybe in the future. When robots are everywhere. Just kidding, less in the future.

OH WAIT I ALREADY HAVE A PROJECT IT'S T-SHIRTS. I'll get me some photoshop today and then you guys need to tell me if you want one after I put the design up. As of right now I'm thinking the design will be a fish (not necessarily like the one above) with a hollow part in the middle and inside the hollow part is a guy with his head in his knees lookin' all sad like. Let me know what you guys think.

Oh god, I just read the newest Cyanide and Happiness and I feel slightly obligated to show you.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I guess great comic minds think alike? Or in Comic Sans.

Anyway, that is all. I encourage you guys to let me know how I'm doing with this blog thingy. Leave a comment or contact me on facebook! You can also reach me at my lovely phone number on my facebook, or follow me, @StickAndLeaf on twitter!

Your friend who may or may not be naked at the moment,

Marcus ♥

Time - Day 9

Hey guys, I haven't had much time today seeing as I was busy dodging my mom only to have her not react as badly as I thought she would. I've decided that I'm going to drop some IB classes because I need a not shitty GPA.

Shirts are becoming more of a reality every day, I need photoshop and I probably should write all the shirts down one of these days. If you guys could help motivate me with that by just adamantly telling me what you want then I'll be happy to oblige.

This is a picture of a guy eating another guy. It's mostly here to take up space but if you want to frame it and hang it on your wall I would not be opposed.

Also, I love that Lipton Green Tea stuff. Also the commercials. Here's some more commercial filler.

Anyway guys, I'm sorry I haven't been able to pump these things out the same way I used to. Before I had some ideas already and I had like two hours to fuck around with them and now with school it kinda sucks, but I'm trying my hardest! I'm like that train guy.

This is roughly what I look like as a train.

Anyway, I'm about to finish this sandwich then off to bed. I want you guys to know I'm happier than I've ever been and it's partly due to this blog. Thanks guys :]

Also, if you haven't added me on facebook, then do so! Marcus Mayhew is the name, and bloggin' is my game.

Loves you so much he just might bite your ear off,

Marcus ♥

Poopery - Day 8

So I've been talking to you guys a little bit and I've figured out a couple things. One, a lot of people stopped reading after the first couple days and/or when I visited my dad, and two, you guys like it when I spew nonsensical shit everywhere. So guess what I'm gonna do? Give you guys what you fucking want even though I've got a million and one things I want to talk about.

Wait, before I draw a picture I just realized that a vegetarian plant is a cannibal and a meatetarian plant is like a vegetarian human.

Anyway.

Who the fuck invents things. Like just go through your day except ask yourself how everything you touch got invented, and eventually find something weird. Like dicks. Who invented those? Get it. I made a masturbation joke. Bahahaha. Ha. Bitch.

You know what? I'm way too distracted. I'll do something tomorrow. Tell me what you want for T-shirts you poop heads.

Poop Head,

Marcus ♥

What's Up - Day 7

Ohai gaiz. :]

So today was the first day back to school. And the monotony is already settling back in. First I had math and Florez decided that the best way to spend it was to be herself and make me sad. Then I went to history and it was probably the best History class of the year. And then I had debate and I managed to convince Tuckness that I wanted to debate but didn't want to go to a tournament or something like that. Then I ate lunch. Then I went to math again and doodled some t-shirt designs, and then I went home. Omnom home.

Today I realized the value of clothes. Not only do they prevent my massive penis from getting all over the place and protect people from the blinding light that is my abs, they get you noticed without any effort on your part. I will never underestimate the value of a fifty dollar jacket again. I did the math and I got like two compliments an hour. That's like two times as many as normal at least. And I got to do the clever thing where I'm like "I like yours too" "But I'm not wearing one" thing. I love it. I'm gonna be that dad who goes to a restaurant and says "Hi can I take your order?" And then laugh as the confused waitress smiles and my kids turn red like the tomatoes I'm about to not order because tomatoes are fucking disgusting.

Gah, these quesadillas that my mom made are fucking terrible. Try one! Oh wait, you can't because you're reading this and not actually talking to me. Why aren't you talking to me? You should be. Ass. Bitch.

The new League of Legends patch makes me kinda happy. Just gonna throw that out there.

Does anyone want to give me free money? Because I would like some free money. So I may purchase things with it. Purchasing things makes me happy because I'm naturally materialistic as a teenager. I fucking love it. I get a thing, I'm happy. It doesn't take anything else! Just a thing. And maybe some other things. Things things things. Who needs shit? I've got things! Fuck people, all I need is things!

Bahahahaha, I'm gonna have such a great year. Because I don't give a fuck anymore. Not giving a fuck is really easy and it's extremely liberating. You should try it, if even for a day. It's so relaxing. And nothing bothers you. Ever. Yayyayayayayyayayayay.

I miss cake. I had some cake over break and now I won't get cake any time soon. Boo. I want some cake. Whoever invented cake is a genius. Also dildos. Because you know that had to happen out of necessity but that guy must have had some balls to try and market those. Some balls and an oh so moldable phallus. Victory thy name is penis.

God this song is so good. It makes me want to dance. When's the next dance? I want to go to that. And do all the fine ass ladies because I mother fucking can. You know why? Because I don't give a fuck anymore. I'll do what I want. But for right now I'll just dance in my basement. I think I'm gonna try and cover a song for you guys here in a few days. Probably an 80s song. Because I'm not afraid. I AM NOT AFRAID BRIDGE KEEPER. I feel like that's not the quote but it's the thought that counts.

/sigh. Being happy and care-free leads to a lack of rants and thus a short blog day, I guess.

Let me know what you guys want for shirts. Black or white, regular or v-neck. Also fuck me.

Your jammin beat buddy,

Marcus :D

Holidays - Day 6

DID YOU MISS ME? :D

What am I kidding? Of course you did. You're my bud. You're my friend! With benefits!

First on the Agenda I would like to explain why I was gone in a little bit of detail. I haven't seen my dad in almost a year, and he got the money together to come out a little after Christmas. I went over to my dad's house in Ozark where my step mom has been this entire time. At first I thought I would be popping in and out every day to do stuff with people over break like I had originally intended, but then I started to realize that there isn't really anything I prioritize over spending time with my dad for Christmas and New Year's Eve. Ultimately, you only get to spend so many days with the people around you, so you should do it when you can, especially when it's someone you love.

In other news, I've been talking to some associates and discussing prices for potential shirts, and it looks like they'll be 7 dollars. That's a pretty good price for a shirt, and I make a dollar for each shirt. The only thing I would like to do before I start taking orders or whatever the fuck I need to do is get a design. I've already got one in mind, and I may actually draw it myself, but I feel like I need someone who is a little more artistically inclined to do it. But as of right now, it DOES look like the shirts will happen.

Whenever you post a blog entry you can tag it with labels to help people find blogs about your subject matter, I guess? And the example labels are "e.g. scooters, vacation, fall". Who the fuck is blogging about scooters and seasons? Like, I don't gain any understanding of what labels are or should be based on those examples. Fucking scooters. Scooters gonna scoot.

You know what I hate? Teachers that give you giant assignments over break. It's like, what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Isn't the whole point of a BREAK to give us a BREAK? Like, from what we normally do? Which is work? Same with the weekends. It's not like if you have an office job and you go home for the weekend then they give you work to bring back on Monday. At least I think they don't. ANYWAY MY POINT IS MRS. ROBERTS IS DUMB BECAUSE SHE GIVES US GIANT READING ASSIGNMENTS OVER BREAK AND I DIDN'T DO IT BECAUSE I WAS BUSY SPENDING TIME WITH MY DAD WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN A LONG LONG TIME WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Okay, I just read a shit ton of Pokemon comics. I'm gonna take a break. Let's talk about the new year a bit, shall we? Sophomore year was arguably the best year of high school for me. That was my "not care year". I liked it. I had a mantra and everything. I don't care. Something bad happens? I don't care. I think the fact that I gave it a name and everything helped with the whole positive outlook thing, and I want to go back to that. So this next semester and year are going to be not care year part 2. Ultimately, high school doesn't matter. And unless you go to some fancy pants college that everyone knows, college doesn't matter a lot either. You use high school to prepare for college, you use college to prepare for getting a career, you get a career to prepare for the end of your life to die. On a day to day basis, nothing in high school matters. Does that fact that I didn't do my English reading matter? Of course not. Five years from now, I won't remember it. And if you never remember something, and it didn't have enough repercussions to affect anything, then it's like it never happened.

Alright, I just had an argument with my mom. That wasted a good 30 minutes of my life. When she's on her deathbed I'm going to explain to her that she might as well have not been alive because she did nothing and is nothing. And then she'll die with the knowledge that her kids hate her and nobody ever loved her because she was a shitty person.

I don't care who you are, this is true. Nobody is special. Nobody has some quality that makes them worth something. Some people are better than other people. Some people are worse than everyone and don't deserve to exist because they're simply shitty people and the world would be better off without them around anymore. It's called the needs of the many vs. the needs of the few. Sure, maybe someone somewhere has enough ignorance to think my mom is a great person. But guess what? If everyone got to know her, I have no doubt in my mind that we'd be better off without her. I'm glad she thinks I'm a less-than-ideal son because pleasing that woman should be a sin.

Can you tell I'm mad? I'm mad. A week of my dad shows me how truly shitty she can be.

I need a fucking Xbox. I managed to scrape a little bit of money together from Christmas and convince my brother and now an Xbox sounds plausible. I just need to find a used one somewhere that will sell for 100ish dollars. I guess I have to wait until it's a time that's not after Christmas.

I don't always like saying this because I feel conceited when I do, but I guess being conceited has never been my priority in the first place. But I feel like I'm significantly more mature than everyone around me sometimes. And you may be thinking "but Marcus, you always do things like rub your nipples because you think it's funny!" Well, ignorant fucker, being silly is different from being mature. I've heard that pain is how we grow. And maybe that's why. Maybe because Ive been fucked over my entire life (or at least felt like I've been fucked over or convinced myself I have) then I've come to be a very mature person. Or maybe it's because I watched a lot of sitcoms when I was in first grade. I dunno, maybe both.

But you know what? I don't care. I don't care that my life is or was shitty. I'm just gonna look forward and try to make what I can out of what I have left here on earth. All I want from life is one thing. I want to be on my death bed, look up into the light on the ceiling above my bed and say "I'm happy with what I did with my time here." If I can do that, everything will be alright, and it will all have been worth it. So fuck you world. Fuck you for trying to tell me what makes me happy and what will lead to a successful life, because ultimately that comes down to the individual. And you know what? I'm fucking seventeen. I'm SUPPOSED to make mistakes so I know that the stupid thing I did was stupid. That's how you become a fucking person.

God, I love being a stubborn ass teenager. I love this blog. I can say whatever the fuck I want with no knowledge of what anything is.

So I guess my point of this last little ranty section is this: do whatever the fuck you want. In the end, it's not gonna matter what that guy thinks, it's not gonna matter what I think, it's not gonna matter what your family and friends think. All that's gonna matter is that you were happy and you did what you wanted. And this philosophy can apply even if you're a Christian. Because if Heaven is perfect, then everyone there will accept you for who you are, flaws and all, and they'll respect the fact that you did what you wanted with your life. But that's assuming Heaven is a material place like here, which doesn't really make sense because people aren't perfect, and what we do isn't perfect, but Heaven is. And everyone's definition of perfect is different. But maybe it's a personal thing. But maybe I'm getting into a discussion with myself about things I don't even believe in.

Always reminding you of your impending death,

Marcus ♥